Lionheart
by xxbeyondxbirthdayxx
Summary: A lion, a lamb. They met young, grew up together, but can a lion fight his instinct, can a lamb end up safe out of the lion's fangs? When true nature comes back full force at adulthood, how does a lamb save himself from a lion? MelloxPsycho!Matt
1. Chapter 1

_**Note:** This is the fic I promised to the winners of the Death Nuts contest, all of you that guessed who would be next to die! (see my fics list to read Death Nuts if you haven't already!)  
Since you were many to win, I decided to write a multichaptered fic including all that's been asked by the winners. Some chapters will aim at one winner, some at several, depending on the progression of the plot ^^  
This first chapter is dedicated to **Snappygirl **and her wish to see me write about Matt and Mello's first meeting at Wammy's with Matt abuse and something angsty. She also wanted a lemon, but as they're too young now, it will be for later! I promise!_

_PS: They start very young, but they will be older each chapter, because each chapter will be a progression in their life until they're adult. AND very bad things will happen between them, thus the summary._

**PS2: chapter rewritten on december 2nd, 2009.**

* * *

The small redhead curled up in the large closet, sobbing, tears running on his bruised face as he closed the doors on himself, seeking refuge in the dark, among the mess of clothes hung there. An acrid smell of old leather, mildew and laundry filled his nose, erasing all hopes of comfort and warmth that he was searching for. He held onto his folded knees tighter, the cold of the corridor soon gaining him and giving him uncomfortable goosebumps.  
He pulled on his sleeves, but the thin fabric wasn't of much help with the glacial december weather spreading its wintry atmosphere in the tiniest of the orphanage's corners, despite the fuel heaters in every dormitory and large chimneys in the common rooms.  
But the boy was painfully discovering that coldness wasn't only due to winter, in that place. Any warmth between the walls of the building was long forgotten, among lifeless stares, mocking words and, as he just experienced, raw violence.

Suddenly, light appeared through the opening door, and as he started and looked through his tears who was disturbing his retreat, the child saw a steel colored eye watch him with curiosity through the small slit.  
"Leave me alone!" he cried, burying his face once again, his body already shivering from the cold began to shake with anticipated fear. They had already beaten him to a pulp, and he hadn't even been in that orphanage for half an hour!  
All he wanted was to be left alone, away from people, away from sorrow and hurt.

But light bathed him as the closet's door opened completely.

"I saw what they did..." he heard, and finally raised his head. In front of him, another child was standing, long blond hair cut straight around his head at chin length, clear eyes showing questioning behind a fringe.  
Despite the sharp gaze and the lips stretched in a faint smirk, the fair haired boy didn't spread a threatening aura. The strength emanating from him strangely seemed comforting to the redhead, who suddenly confessed his sorrow in a burst of sobs: "They told me I would be safe here, but everyone lies, all the time" the redhead hiccuped, more tears flooding from his dark blue eyes.  
"Who?" the blond asked genuinely, finally entering in the closet and sitting next to the other, closing the door on them.  
"Everyone! My parents said I would be safe if I hid in the bathroom, but someone found me and he hurt me! And my parents were dead and the policeman said I would be safe here, and the director of this orphanage said it too! But they all lie!" the small child exploded in a confused explanation.

The blond child didn't understand everything of the heart wrenching assertion, but he knew that the redhead was right: adults lied, all the time. Himself was brought here after his mother told him she would be back soon, when she left him on the border of a road, far from his home.  
He had waited two days alone, scared, hungry, but no one came on that abandoned road, so he walked as far as his small legs could carry him, trying to go back home, and fortunately found a gas station on his way, and then everything went fast, and he arrived here. But his mother never came to take him back. She promised, but she never did.  
He tried many times to runaway, sure that he should have waited on that road, and that his mother was worrying and trying to find him.

The other orphans had laughed at him each time he had said that his mother would be here soon. And the more days passed without her coming to take him, the more they laughed, and the more his anger grew. Until the day the director of the orphanage told him that his mother would never come back, because they had found her, and she had finally signed papers stating she was abandoning him.

He grabbed the redhead's hand and squeezed it. The other looked at him, hardly distinguishing the blond's features in the dark, but he stopped crying.  
"I am Mello." the blond introduced himself.  
"I'm Matt." the other sniffled.  
"One day I'll take you out of here, but until I'm able to, I'll protect you, I promise..." the long haired child suddenly said. He didn't even know why himself, but there was something about that crying toddler that appealed to him, something stirring the protective side of him out like a blanket he would spread over their head.  
"You lie..." the red haired boy replied, wiping his eyes, wincing at the pain as his hand brushed against the darkening bruise on his left cheek.

Matt was four years old, almost five in a few months, and had just arrived at Wammy's orphanage. He had been found unconscious on the floor by the police, in his parents' house, as they were called by the neighbours of this cosy and very well-maintained home, worrying about strange noises coming from the usually very quiet house. They had entered the big villa to find the couple savagely murdered in the living room, the woman obviously raped, half nude and bleeding from between her legs. The man had been viciously cut, his arms barely still attached to his body.  
The scene was horrendous, blood staining the british styled furnitures up to the heavy embroided curtains. Bloodbath in a Laura Ashley tagged paradise.

Upstairs, they had shot the culprit as he was slicing through the body of a child, in the bathroom, putting an end to the wandering of a serial killer that the police was tracking since he escaped from jail. The medias had covered the run of the madman in a will to avoid a mass panic, and the child's parents had settled on their leather couch that evening, with wine and sushis, remembering they hadn't lock the door but was it that necessary in such a peaceful block?

Fortunately, the child didn't die although severely injured, and after a long recovery in the closest home for parentless children, he was sent to Wammy's, home for gifted children. What a beautiful way to name a place that never felt like home for any of the children, more like a hellhole for toddlers to teenagers gifted with an above-average brain to make up for what life had taken them.

Mello was barely older, but had arrived a few months earlier, after his mother, unable to hide any longer the fruit of her adultery, decided to get rid of him like a shameful luggage or a dog at holidays time, on the border of a deserted road. The child was crying, scared to be left alone close to the woods, but she had reassured him, telling him she wouldn't be long. He had spent two nights here, cold, hungry, frightened, rocking himself, sat at the foot of a large tree, trying to persuade himself that the noises around him were only his imagination. He finally decided to try to go back home, taking the wrong way as hunger made him dizzy, and landed in a small gas station.  
The owner fed him as he called the police, and after a quick stay at the social services, he was brought to Wammy's without any explanation. So he kept believing that his mother would come for him, or was mad with worry looking for him somewhere along this road, and he had hurt himself many times trying to escape through the iron fence surrounding the building and its gardens.  
But after his last attempt, that had left him with a severe injury, the iron fence piercing through his body as he slipped, avoided his lung shortly, the director had finally told him the truth about his mother: she had lied, and didn't want him anymore for she had willingly abandoned him.

That day, he had been unable to take the mean laughters from the other kids any longer. After being mocked for believing his mother's lies, he refused to be mocked because she didn't want him anymore. Someday, someone would want him and they would all see!  
And he fought, he hit, he kicked, he punched and he beat, as much as his heart ached. They would see, someday, but for now, they would feel the pain too. It wasn't fair, what happened, no, it wasn't right. If they couldn't understand, then he would show them how it hurt.

He didn't understand why the red haired child that had just arrived didn't fight. He was sitting on a bench, alone, in Wammy's gardens, after the director had dismissed him once he had explained everything to him, just like he did for every orphan arriving here. The elder children had come to bully him, and usually, each new child replied back, or Roger, the man that helped the director, would appear to put some order. But today, Roger either had a day off and wasn't there, or just didn't bother, like he happened to do when he had enough, which seemed to be more and more often.

The redhead seemed in pain, but he didn't kick back as one of the orphans kicked him. He didn't stand up from the grass when one pushed him from the bench, and he didn't even say a word when they said really nasty things to him. He let them beat him like a ragdoll in a bad little girl's hands. He just cried silently, and when they were all gone, he stood up with difficulty and dragged his feet inside of the building, hiding in the first closet he found.

Mello had followed him, wondering why someone could let himself beat this way. Himself surely would have fought back and probably hurt them quite a lot before they could send him to the floor.

"I'm not lying, you'll see." the blond said firmly. He stood up and stirred himself out of the closet, pulling the redhead's hand. "Come one, you can't stay here." he added, seeing Matt shiver once again.  
"I don't want to see them again..." Matt whimpered, trying to resist.  
"Stay with me and they won't hurt you." the other simply replied.  
Matt unfolded his knees and, slowly, exited the closet, still tightly holding Mello's hand.

Later, in the evening, Mello managed to convince the director to place Matt in his room so they wouldn't be separated. The old man accepted, seeing this as a chance to avoid a lot of annoyances if the newcomer faced the bullies again, and it would be more convenient to spare the room he had formerly allocated to the redhead anyway, logistically speaking. One less room to check for weekly inspection.

Mello helped Matt put the few he had away and prepared himself to go to bed.  
Matt stayed sat on the border of his bed, still in his day clothes, looking at his balancing feet.

"Matt, don't you have pyjamas?" the blond asked, wondering why the redhead didn't change for his night clothes.  
"Yes, I have..." the red haired boy murmured, looking at his feet.  
"So why don't you get ready for sleep?" Mello questioned, sliding out of his sheets to help his new friend. He grabbed pyjamas in the wardrobe and, as he handed them out to Matt, the redhead reluctantly stood up and walked to the bathroom.

Matt began to take his shirt off but couldn't help but let a whimper escape him each time he moved to pull the garment off.  
Mello, worrying for the pain sounds he was hearing, peeked through the partly open door.  
"Do you need help?" he proposed.  
"Don't look!" Matt whined, his face reddening as Mello realised why he had so many difficulties to get his shirt off: his back and arms were covered by long and red scars, fresh scars. Each move was stretching the still painful skin and preventing the child to move normally.  
"I'm sorry! But let me help you! How did you get that?!" Mello pulled on the garment over Matt's head, and helped him put his pyjamas on as the redhead took support on him, his legs unsteady because of the pain, since his legs were marred with red and deep lines as well.  
"The man that killed my parents did that..." Matt replied, as tears stung his eyes.

That night, one of the beds stayed unoccupied...


	2. Chapter 2

_**Note:**__ Going on with the part dedicated to __**Snappygirl**__, and the Matt abuse part, you'll see why at the end of the chapter.  
I can't tell how many chapters each of you will get but I'll try to make it as even as possible, and how long this will be, honestly, I have the plot but that's about all.  
I'm sorry in advance for the bad that will happen there, I guess it's as hard for the reader to read than for me to write it. I'm talking about the whole fic, this chapter is really light compared to what's coming.  
I challenged myself to include all the requests, that are supposed to be positive events like first meeting, first time they fall for each other, first date etc, into a negative background, and a negative relationship. Writing a situation I hate concerning those two, actually. Yeah, I like to torture myself ^_^  
_Hope I can make it._

**PS: chapter rewritten on december 2****nd****, 2009.  


* * *

**"Matt!" the blond opened every closet on his way through Wammy's corridors, "Matt where are you?"  
He finally found the redhead, curled in the closet nearing the kitchen. Carefully, he grabbed his hand and pulled him out.  
Unfolding his whole body slowly and painfully exiting the wardrobe, Matt faced his friend but kept his head down. Reaching for his chin, Mello lifted Matt's face to look at the extent of the damage.  
A wide bruise was starting to show over his left eye, and the purplish color of his lips didn't bode well either.  
"Matt, when will you fight back? What are you waiting for? That they completely ruin your face? Last time they broke your nose, and the time before, you almost lost your front teeth." the blond shook his head in despair.

Once again, the elder orphans had caught Matt in a corner just as he crossed the courtyard, up from the guardian's lodge where postal mail arrived everyday, to go back to the room he shared with Mello after going to check if his magazine had arrived.

The orphans were allowed to get a yearly subscription to the magazine of their choice, and when Matt wasn't playing his games, something he had started to do when Mello had offered him the device he had stolen to another kid as a revenge for beating Matt, he read magazines about games. Getting his hands on the newest issue each month was one of the rare things that could drag him out of the building. Usually, he would go with Mello, who nearly never let him wander alone.

But Mello had been called in Roger's office after a prank he had made to a child he hated, because he always seemed to get more attention than himself. Near. Younger, but smarter than Mello on the paper, and this, Mello couldn't stand it. If he wanted someone to want him, he had to be first in Wammy's ranking!  
So along with working so hard he sometimes forgot to sleep, he couldn't help himself but trick the albino child, everytime he had the occasion.

Ten years old, and already, Mello had learnt to make his way through life and the hard law of the orphanage with his fists and feet. He didn't even question himself, if the easiest way was to punch, then he would punch.

"I already told you to wait for me, you know they never miss a chance to get you..." Mello sighed, as he dragged Matt in the bathroom of their dorm to clean up the blood off his face.  
Matt winced but let the blond's fingers delicately wipe the red stains away with a washcloth. He briefly closed his eyes but shot them open when the warm feeling of Mello's hands disappeared.  
"Matt, please, next time, wait for me, ok? I've told you so many times, either you wait for me, or you decide to fight for yourself, but don't just let them beat you like this without even saying a word!" the blond seethed, glaring into Matt's eyes. He shook his head again in front of the helpless look of his friend. There was nothing more than innocence in those pupils.

The heads of the orphanage, be it Mr Wammy, Roger or any of the teachers, had been more and more dismissive about violence among children. The more they scolded, the more the victims would be caught later for revenge. It was a neverending circle where the lion ate the lamb, and the whip of Mr Loyal was long forgotten.  
And throwing out the bullies wasn't an option, they were too precious to go to waste in the outside world.  
So orphans were kept in Wammy's arena, where the law of the strongest is always the only one valuable. The trained monkeys turned into preys or hunters, lambs or lions, and the circus director watched from a distant eye brains work and increase their potential, uncaring for a misplaced childhood blooming into an unsteady adulthood thanks to the constant watering of tears.

There's an exception to every rule though.  
In the smallest of the orphanage's rooms, on the right of the building, at the very end of the corridor, the lion slept beside the lamb every night...

* * *

Mello ran through the corridors, his face contorted in a worried expression, as he slammed the sick bay's door open and rushed inside of the small room, making everyone start.  
"Mello! Could you stop making so much noise?" the nurse scolded him with an angry glare as he approached the bed where the person she was taking care of was laid, the sole reason of Mello's presence in the small white ether smelling room.

Matt turned his head with difficulty to look at his friend, and smiled sheepishly, his eyes half lidded.  
"Shit Matt..." the blond whispered, his eyes discovering the damage.  
"Mello, language." the woman reprimanded him severely. He glared at her, and she stood up, leaving her place to the teenager as she finished tying the last bandage.

"Sorry..." the redhead whispered painfully.  
"I told you! Fuck! I told you not to go out without me! You knew Ike would do that, he had been waiting for that for months!"  
Mello was furious. No matter how many times he warned Matt, his friend would always go outside alone at a moment or another, and it would end like this. No matter how many times Mello avenged Matt, Matt would always be paid back at a moment or another.  
But this time, it had gone too far. Matt's ribs were broken and his face was nothing more than a whole bruise, his lower lip cut in two. Even his old scars from the night he had been slaughtered by the serial killer seemed pale in comparison to his current state.

Mello hid his face in his palms, sighing. Soon, he felt fingers creep clumsily on his right hand.  
"I'm sorry Mello, I'm so sorry..." Matt was crying.  
The blond stared at him a moment, then left, in silence. A feeling was slowly creeping inside of him, one that would rest here, nurtured over years with every bruise his friend would get, every trouble the redhead would put himself through: guilt.

Fifteen years old, and already, Matt had learnt to make his way through life curled in a ball, rolling along, only bumping from time to time on obstacles, getting hurt in the process, but going on all the same. If he met violence, he would only reply by bending his back and taking it, without a word.

Mello leant against the wall, breathing to clear the nausea away.  
Not only would the bullies pay for that, but he would comfort Matt and nurse him to make him forget that he failed once again at being a good friend. Why did he have to let Matt go to see Roger alone? He knew it, he knew it, goddamn! It was always like this, and still, he had let Matt run into the danger. What kind of friend was he?

* * *

It was strange to cross this fence after all these years in captivity. But Matt and Mello were both eighteen now, and on this first day of february, they left the orphanage, no one being able to retain them anymore.

The cold was still biting and the wind still freezing, but Matt had never felt so warm, walking on this pavement he had stared at so many times from the window of their shared room in the orphanage, feeling free and so tied at the same time. Free from violence and hurt, but so tied to the one that was offering him this escape route, like a dog following his master willingly on a leash.

Mello had worked on this issue for months now, searching for a job and an apartment, since he had reach the legal age in december already, and now that Matt's birthday had finally come, Mello could, at last, keep his promise, and take him away from this hell.

And he could also runaway from a place where he had never been wanted. Never had he been able to rank first, and maybe, outside, he could change this, in the end, and have someone that would want him, wholly, fully, not just for his mental capacities. Someone whom he would be first for, in every aspect and without restrain.

They deposited their bags on the carpet, in the middle of the all-purpose room of the apartment Mello's small salary could afford. Except a kitchen and a bathroom, the place consisted of a single room that would be their bedroom as well as a living and dining room. They didn't have much furniture anyway, the few of them being a double bed, a couch and a small coffee table, but they didn't care, it was finally a place they would be able to call home, their home.  
Mr Wammy had allowed them to take what they had in their dorm at the orphanage: a laptop, a TV, gaming consoles, but that was about all.

Matt looked around him. The peeling paint on the ceiling was beautiful. The washed out decorating paper on the walls was of the most pretty dirty yellow he had seen, and even the stained and cigarette burnt old rug on the floor was soft under his feet. But what made the apartment perfect, above all, was the blond standing in the middle of this paradise. After all, it was normal to find an angel in paradise, right?

Matt approached the window, looking at the snow that covered the streets and had finally stopped falling. Then he turned around as Mello joined him.  
"You didn't lie." the redhead simply said, and smiled.  
Mello smiled back. He was now the first adult that hadn't lied to Matt.

* * *

Mello had quickly been fired from his job as a waiter, after a fight with one of his female workmates over 'the cute redhead that came to pick you up yesterday'. Mello had seen red after she had bugged him all day to get Matt's number and called the girl a bitch, unfortunately at the moment when the boss came behind him.

He had to find another job, real soon, otherwise there wouldn't be an apartment to live in anymore for him and Matt. So he took the easiest way again and joined the Mafia after several days of lying to Matt about his job going well and a fruitless search for something else to pay the rent.  
He didn't tell Matt, because he knew that the less his friend knew, the better he could protect him along with not getting himself into trouble. You don't fuck up with the mob, and Matt had a proneness to attract bad luck like no one.

One night, Mello came home, late, as usual since he had begun working as a henchman for the local mob. He had drank several beers with his boss and if he wasn't drunk, he wasn't far from it. Once he managed to open the door with a shaky hand holding the key and legs that wouldn't carry him properly, he carefully stepped in the dark apartment, or at least, as carefully than his trembling legs could, trying not to wake up Matt who probably had to wake up early for his own duty the next day.  
But the dark wasn't complete, for a little lamp was lit next to the bed, and Matt was reading.  
Even with the alcohol, Mello could tell it wasn't a normal thing for Matt to do, since what he was reading wasn't a magazine about games, but a book, a real book. Wuthering Heights, by Emily Brontë, one of Mello's favorite books.

The blond approached the bed, and, almost letting himself fall on it, he slurred: "Matt, you read books now?"  
"Calvin took my PSP today at work and you know the TV is broken so I can't play any other game, so I thought I could try to read your books for once." the redhead replied, his eyes betraying sorrow at Mello's reaction.

"Matt... why... did you let him take it? I mean... forget it." the blond sighed and laid on the bed, getting rid of his jacket and shoes.  
"I'm sorry Mello..." Matt replied.  
"Stop being sorry Matt, I don't understand you, whatever people do to you, you just accept it without a fight. You're not a kid anymore, and still you let this Calvin steal your game, just like that! What are you waiting for? I won't go to your workplace and beat the shit out of him to get your PSP back, Matt, we're not children, it's the real world and we're supposed to fight for what we want!" Mello exploded, spitting his words at Matt the best he could as his tongue felt heavy with the alcohol.  
"I'm sorry..." Matt repeated, looking down at the book he had closed in his lap.  
"Holy fuck Matt!!! Did you hear what I just said?!" Mello yelled, lifting himself on an elbow to glare at his friend, "Fight for what you want! Do something damnit! Don't just let people use you, grow balls for once!"

Matt looked at him, sad eyes on the verge of tears, and as he opened his mouth, about to say something, a fist connected with his jaw.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Note:** Onto **MysticalTears**' prize! I won't tell what she wished me to write, because it would ruin the suspense of the chapter! I'm sorry I couldn't make two chapters out of it!_

_**PS: chapter rewritten on december 5th, 2009.**  
_

* * *

Mello looked at Matt in horror, then at his fist. The blur of the alcohol suddenly vanished as his mind registered what he had just done.  
"Matt... oh God I'm sorry!" he covered his mouth with his other hand, his eyes getting back to his friend's face, in shock.  
"It's ok Mello, it's nothing." the redhead replied, smiling, refraining to bring his hand to his aching jaw, "I can't fight to save my life, it's just the way I am. But don't worry so much for me, I'm ok..."

Mello fell asleep a few minutes later, the long day and sleepiness caused by alcohol getting the best of him, as Matt rocked him gently in his lap, comforting the blond and his guilt. Mello would never have allowed such a proximity had he been sober, but Matt had long left for work when the blond woke up without any souvenir of the position he had fallen asleep in.

* * *

December 13th. Mello entered the apartment and was greeted by the sight of a big red box on the coffee table, and the smell of chocolate coming from the kitchen. He leant in the doorframe between the all-purpose room and the kitchen, Matt turning his back to him. The redhead didn't hear Mello come in, and, cursing against the tap that seemed unwilling to give him hot water for the dishes, he went on with his cleaning.  
Mello smiled. He had expected Matt to buy him a present, because he did it every year just like himself did for Matt's birthday, but he hadn't expected his friend to bake.

He stared at his friend's back, his eyes trailing from Matt's nape that he could guess through the messy red locks, to his lower back, and almost started as he caught back with reality. He shook his deep thoughts out of his head and continued waiting, smiling inwardly at the redhead getting himself into so much trouble to bake him something.

Finally, Matt turned around to put the clean bowls he had used to prepare the dough in the cupboard, and almost dropped them when he realised the presence of the blond.  
"Oh Mello! I thought you'd be here later, I wanted everything to be finished when you arrive..." Matt whined.  
"I can leave, come back later and fake surprise, if you want me too." Mello teased him.  
"Come on, let's have a drink while the cake is the oven, I bought you vodka." Matt grabbed the bottle in the fridge while Mello took two glasses, and they headed for the couch.

Several shots of Staraya later, along with three big chocolate brownie slices, Mello was staring at the beautifully shaped bottle, drunk.  
"Mello, you forgot to open your present." Matt reminded him as he came back from the kitchen with a sandwich he just made for himself. The chocolate cake was all for Mello and he wouldn't touch it. The vodka either, since he never drank a drop of alcohol.  
The blond shifted his weight forward to reach the red box, unsteady, and ripped the paper away. He stirred the content out and looked at Matt.  
"How could you afford that?" he asked, looking back at the Bible he was holding. The cover was made of the most beautiful black leather he had seen, soft and shiny, and the pages were bordered with, he could tell just by the look of it, real gold. The paper was thick and grainy, cream colored, and the book itself was heavy and large sized.  
"It's my secret." Matt winked, "I hope you like it, I knew you lost your old one when we moved here, and even if it can't replace it, I hope you'll use it..."  
"You're right, it can't replace it..." Mello replied, putting the heavy item on the coffee table, "...since it's way better than the old one and can't be compared to the shitty thing Roger gave me." he added, grinning at Matt's hurt face turning to a big smile, satisfied with his dramatic effect.  
"You jerk." Matt laughed.

Mello kept on downing glasses of vodka while Matt cleaned the coffee table from the remains of cake and sandwich.  
"Ah shit..." Mello suddenly mumbled, looking down at his pants.  
"Dropped your glass?" Matt asked, his head poking from the kitchen.  
"Naaah... I'm hard." the blond stated, as if he was talking about the weather, his drunken state not allowing him to feel embarassed by his own words, as Matt blushed deeply.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't think to put a girl in the package." he replied, trying to erase the uneasy feeling he felt at Mello's blunt revelation. He also felt quite nervous all of a sudden, which didn't help, "Although, even if I don't know much about religion, I think it would be pretty sacrilegious to put a girl and a bible alltogether..." he tried to joke as he felt heat gain his face uncontrollably.

"Then you're going to be the girl..." Mello slurred, standing up and walking to Matt, tripping several times on the way.  
"Wait, what?" Matt opened wide eyes as Mello approached him, "You should go to bed, you're totally shit-faced." he added, trying to push Mello to the bed.  
"Yeah, let's go to bed..." the blond purred, letting himself fall on the blanket and pulling Matt with him, making the redhead fall on top of him, "Matt... Mmmaaaatt..." he said, reaching for his friend's cheek and caressing it.  
"Mello, what are you doing? I know you're drunk but that's not a reason!" Matt replied, trying to regain his balance to stand up from the bed, and being unable to as Mello suddenly flipped him over.  
"I'm drunk and that's a reason good enough!" Mello chuckled, "But if you need more, then let me tell you... you're gorgeous Mattie-girl."  
"You do realise I'm not a girl, Mello?" Matt questioned, feeling hotter every second. He strangely liked Mello's attention on him, but not his drunken state. This happening because his friend took him for a girl? No, that wasn't what he wished, although he felt his stomach wring at the thought it would probably the only occasion him and Mello would... no, he couldn't take that path.  
"Yeah, do you think I'm drunk or what?" Mello smirked, softly nuzzling Matt's nose with his own.  
"Ok, over Mello." Matt said, snaking himself out of Mello's weight. But an iron grip took hold of him all of a sudden, pinning him to the mattress.

"Where do you think you're going?" Mello snarled, his face contorted in anger.  
"M... Mello?" Matt felt the change in his friend, and began to fear the determined expression on the blond's face.  
"I want sex... it's my birthday Mattie, you have to give me what I want, because it's my fucking birthday..." the blond whispered, licking Matt's ear.  
"Mello, don't do that... please!" Matt pleaded, completely panicking for the turn the situation was taking.

But he never made a move to stop Mello. He didn't struggle when Mello undressed him roughly, didn't push him away when Mello's fingers slid in him without warning, and didn't even whimper when the blond eased himself inside of him in one harsh push forward.  
He kept his eyes tightly shut all the time Mello thrust in him painfully, he kept his mouth tightly shut when Mello moaned and came inside of him, and opened his arms wide when Mello crawled in them and fell asleep his head on Matt's chest.

In the morning, Mello opened his eyes as he felt something move under his cheek. He started as he realised it was Matt, and sat in the bed, looking at his friend in disbelief.  
"Hel...lo." Matt murmured, unsure of what to say, as he stood up to go to the bathroom, sheepishly looking at the blond. Did Mello remember anything?  
He didn't have time to question himself longer, as he saw Mello's eyes trail down to his thighs at the same time that he felt a liquid begin to run down from his rear.  
"MATT!! What happened last night?! Ow... my head..." Mello brought his hands to his face as a throbbing began in his temples.  
"Hum... you... we..." Matt couldn't say it.  
Mello looked at the dripping substance again in shock. And realised there was blood mixed with the white lines making their way on the bruised skin.

Everything came back to his mind in a rush and he jerked out of bed, closing quickly the distance between him and Matt. He pulled the redhead in his arms and held him, stroking his messy hair, as he softly brushed his cheek against Matt's.  
"Matt..." he cried, completely shocked by what he had done, "Matt... beat me, I beg you, hurt me, do something, you can't let me get away with that! Oh God no... what have I done?!" he almost fell on his knees, but Matt snaked his arms around his waist and supported his weight, holding him back, as Mello burst in hysterical sobs.  
"Matt... Matt... please, do it! Punch me! PUNCH ME! Do something! Don't leave me like this..." Mello yelled, burying his face in Matt's neck, wetting his shoulder with tears as his body shook violently under the sobs.

Matt unlocked the hold he had on Mello's waist and softly grabbed his face between his palms, lifting the blond's head up. His eyes dived into Mello's, and he stared into them for a long moment, silently.  
Then he kissed him, a tender butterfly caress of his lips, almost chaste.  
And he smiled as his thumbs erased the tears from Mello's eyes...

"I'm sorry, I have to go..." Matt said, after a while, "I have to go to work..."  
"Ok..." Mello whispered, unable to take his eyes off Matt's, "Matt I..." he looked down as Matt began to walk to the bathroom. The lump in his throat made it impossible for him to end his sentence. He pulled Matt back by the hand and crashed his lips against the redhead's in a passionate kiss, entangling his hands in the disheveled red hair, and he moaned softly as he felt Matt's hands brush against the small of his back.  
They broke the kiss, panting, and Matt took Mello's hands in both his. He tenderly kissed them before disappearing into the bathroom.

When he came back from work in the evening, a note was waiting for him on the coffee table.

* * *

_**Note:** Ok, so **MysticalTears** asked me to write about Matt and Mello being just friends and realising their attraction, that was my fucked up version of it! Oh, and that little juice drop was NOT the lemon, of course._  
_And yes, another cliffie... shoot me, I know you want to :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Note:**__ Squeeeeeeeeeeeeze! A small lemon for __**Snappygirl**__, their first date for __**Kyoko Keehl**__ and Mello being topped for __**Mello aka HeavenCat**__! The rest that you, the winners, asked, and is not present yet, will come later! I hope you like it!  
And the plot goes on... things are never what they seem... muahahaha XD_

_**PS: chapter rewritten on december 5th, 2009.**  
_

* * *

Matt arrived in front of the place where Mello had asked him to meet him on the note he had left in their shared apartment. He looked at the neon letters flashing above his head, then at the large window of the façade, and spotted a familiar blond sat inside. Seeing Mello there, dressed in his usual leather, made him less uncomfortable with his own attire. He had come in his usual clothes and had immediately regretted not changing for something more classy at the sight of the place. Not that he had anything classy, anyway. But he should have thought before rushing here, he knew the name of the place and could have easily guessed his usual tight jeans and stripped shirt wouldn't do.  
But a mix of panic and expectation had played with his mind, urging him to the rendez-vous place without a second thought.

At first, when seeing the sheet of paper on the coffee table, he had picked it up with trembling hands, fearing to read Mello's beautiful handwriting telling him he had left. Left him after finally knowing they shared the same feelings toward each other.  
Then he had hoped so much for this meeting place to be the actual place they would stay at and not just a meeting point. He was now standing there, in front of the fancy restaurant, the most expensive he knew of in the city, feeling like a blushing schoolgirl, expecting so much and fearing to put his hopes too high up at the same time.

He smiled as Mello tapped his fingers on his glass after rummaging fruitlessly in his pockets. Then the chocolate bars Matt still had in his pockets from his little shopping before coming back home a little earlier would be welcomed by his... boyfriend. Was Mello his boyfriend now?  
The shadow of a doubt passed in his mind at the memory of the recent events. He braced himself and finally pushed the door.

Mello looked at the door when he heard it ring, and immediately stood up from his stool at the bar, smiling widely.  
Matt gazed around him and realised that except two waiters, they were alone. He stared at Mello questioningly but soon forgot the fact as the blond dragged him into a warm embrace, kissing him softly.  
"Matt, I'm happy you found my note." Mello whispered, releaved, in Matt's ear as he nuzzled his neck, still holding him tightly. He had been scared of ending here alone, after all, all he'd done lately was to hurt Matt, and the redhead probably didn't want this relationship, his reaction in the morning was not normal, he couldn't just accept the hurt and still love him, no, that was not normal, he didn't deserve that.

Matt smiled back, caressing Mello's cheek. "I never thought you could be romantic."  
"I'm not really, but I know you like that stuff, and you said once that you'd like to eat here so I thought that would be a nice place for..." the blond stopped, blushing as he looked at his feet.  
"Our first date?" Matt asked, wanting to get rid of his doubts.  
"Yeah, our first date." Mello's head lifted up again, his smile still so soft, "But I also knew you hate the crowd so I reserved the whole restaurant. It's only you and me."  
Matt grinned happily before pulling Mello in a bear hug. How did Mello managed to do that, he didn't know, and didn't care for details. Right now he had what he wanted.

They ate in silence, lulled by the soft music in the background. Matt's favorite classical music, the only opera he would listen to. Peer Günt. He liked the music, but it was mainly because it reminded him of Mello. Solveig's song, he remembered hearing it sung in german from a CD he had found in Wammy's library. The song was so sad, so heartbreaking, and the language, this hint that remained in Mello's accent when he spoke in english... Matt had made this song their secret song, but it wasn't a secret anymore now, as Mello softly whispered the lullaby to his newfound love, entwining their fingers together, watching him with longing in his steel colored eyes.  
Matt smiled. It was perfect. Or at least, as perfect as it could be...

Mello's hand headed for the bottle of red wine, but Matt stopped him, his hand softly covering Mello's like a silent plea.  
"Sorry..." Mello said, the movement being a reminder of what he'd done the previous night. He looked at Matt apologetically, "Will you ever forgive me for what I did? Tell me what I have to do, I'll do it..."  
"I already forgave you Mello... otherwise I wouldn't be here with you." Matt replied. There weren't many things he could ask, only one actually. But no. Not now... He already had what he wanted, for now.

They left the restaurant, hand in hand.  
Matt had come with his car, and Mello with his motorbike, so they parted a short moment, the time to go back to their apartment.  
They parked in front of the complex, and quickly climbed upstairs.

Once in the apartment, none of them switched the light on. Mello leant his back against the door, his eyes searching for Matt in the dark in an awkward silence. But soon he felt himself lifted from the floor. Surprised at how strong Matt was, he yelped softly as he landed on the bed with Matt on top of him.  
They found themselves kissing feverishly, Matt fumbling with Mello's clothes and quickly undressing him. He did the same with himself, and once they were both fully naked, he began to explore Mello's body. Mello could feel Matt's hands, lips and tongue all over him, and all he could do was moan. He tried to return the pleasure, but Matt ended pinning Mello's hands above his head, nipping at his ear and collarbone.

Mello's surprise grew all night long. This was a side of Matt he had never seen: strong, dominant, eager and passionate, with something more he couldn't define. Something that made him uneasy, he didn't know why.

Matt slobbered Mello all around, beginning from his neck, slowly descending, with a halt to his nipples, erecting under a teasing tongue, racking teeth, resting a few seconds on Mello's flat stomach, inhaling the sweet scent of the blond, feeling the soft skin just below his bellybutton, and finally engulfing his member in one swift movement. The way he rolled his tongue around the tip to pull the erected flesh inside his mouth without the help of his hands made Mello moan so loudly that Matt could feel the vibrations down to the blond's belly.

He sucked even harder than he already was, his hands sliding along Mello's inner thighs, where the skin was softer than a newborn's. Just like he had imagined. He smiled, letting Mello's cock slip from his lips. He knew the blond so well, so well... that even what he had just imagined was revealing to be true.

Lifting Mello's legs slightly, he licked his tight hole softly first, then with more and more eagerness, saliva dripping from his lips. He sucked on his fingers briefly, coating them with more wetness, and slid a first one into Mello's entrance.  
The blond gasped, but pushed himself on the intruder, wanting more contact. That was all he could do, since Matt would refrain all his moves, taking charge of the action.  
Fingers would add, little by little, until Mello couldn't take it anymore.

"Matt, please, I'm ready!" he pleaded, squirming with want as he tried to pull Matt up.  
Matt grinned. He slowly crawled upward on all four, hovering over Mello, looking deep into the blond's eyes. Briefly, something passed into Matt's dark blue orbs, quickly replaced by tenderness, as he pecked on Mello's lips, pushing himself carefully inside of Mello's warmness. Mello didn't have time to let the slight fear he had felt at Matt's strange expression gain him as he braced himself, trying to relax despite the slight pain.  
Matt stopped moving once fully inside, his look questioning, waiting for Mello's signal.  
The blond began moving by himself after an agonizing minute, but was quickly pinned to the mattress as Matt weighted fully on him, embracing him tightly as he began thrusting in a slow pace, trying to get as deep as he could.

Mello moaned and groaned, self consciousness leaving him totally as Matt found the right spot and speeded his thrusts, hardening the movement as the blond lifted his legs and hooked them around his waist, giving him better access.  
No word was exchanged, only the pants and sighs resounded in the room, along with the creaking of their old bed.  
Only names were uttered as they reached climax one after the other, screams filling one another's ears just before they stopped moving, drained and sweating.

Matt rolled on his side, still holding Mello tightly, and that's when Mello realised what made him uneasy in the middle of so much pleasure, so much tenderness: Matt was different. Different from what he knew of the redhead.  
It was an odd feeling, being like a puppet in his hands...


	5. Chapter 5

_**Note:** Sorry I took this long to update Lionheart, but I wanted to edit and rewrite some parts of the previous chapters, so in case you read chapters 1 to 4 before the edition dates (stated in the author note of each chapter), you should read them again, because I added stuff that's necessary to understand the story. I wasn't satisfied with what I did and I hope I could make things better in terms of atmosphere and development of feelings and events.  
For these rewritten chapters, your reviews are much appreciated so I know if you think it's better or not ^^ (but you can review this 5th chapter too, hehe).  
I'm quite down concerning my writing skills lately, seems I can't write anything correct, so your opinion is important ^^  
Sorry for the rant, I needed this out. Thank you for reading this far!_  


* * *

When Mello woke up, his eyes met a red mop of hair. Smiling, he detangled himself from the sheets, trying not to wake Matt as he slid out of bed. As he stood, his eyes roamed over the petite body laid still, soundly sleeping. The redhead seemed so peaceful, so angelic, a small smile on his lips, that Mello wondered where the dominant and rough lover he had had the night before had gone. He felt strange once again at the thought, but quickly swept it aside as Matt stirred and opened his eyes.

The look of adoration in them melted Mello to a point he almost scared himself. He would do anything for those eyes, anything most certainly meaning the best as well as the worst...  
He leant to deposit a kiss on Matt's lips.  
"I have to hurry or I'll be late for work..." he whispered, feeling a pang in his chest as Matt's eyes turned to a plea, "I'm sorry... and I'll probably be late tonight, so don't wait for me for dinner, but I'll try to be back before midnight, ok?"  
"Can I call you sometime in the afternoon?" the redhead asked, his face showing a clear disappointment.  
"No, it's better you don't, my boss is quite... severe, he would take it bad... I'm sorry Matt... but I'll try to be there not too late, I promise."  
Mello couldn't risk his boss knowing about Matt or his gay relationship, it wasn't something appreciated in the Mafia, and he wanted to keep Matt safe, so if his boss believed he lived alone, it was best for everyone.  
"Ok, don't worry, I'll be fine." Matt lied, already feeling sick as Mello escaped him. He smiled sheepishly, and got out of bed, "I'd better get ready for work too."

Mello came back just as the clock ticked midnight. Matt was obviously waiting for him, sat on the couch.  
"Hey, just in time not to turn into a pumpkin!" Mello joked at the sound of the clock, as Matt almost ran into him, hugging him tightly.  
That's only after a few seconds that Mello noticed that Matt was crying.  
"Matt? Hey, shhh, don't cry... I'm home... or is there something wrong?" Mello worried, withdrawing a bit from Matt to grab his face between his palms, forcing his boyfriend to look at him.  
"I missed you!" Matt sobbed, burying his face in Mello's neck.  
"Matt... I know I'm out for longer than I should be, but please, don't cry... I have to work, I can't help it if I have such a heavy schedule, you have to get used to it..." Mello was lost, how could Matt get so worked up for this?  
"But... you weren't working so late before so I was afraid that maybe you just didn't want to come back home..." Matt felt himself lose it but still, he couldn't keep his worries for himself, he was feeling nausea gaining him again with all these ideas of Mello not really loving him and wanting to avoid him as long as possible, or leaving for good.  
"Matt, you know I'll always come back, why wouldn't I when I know you are waiting for me?" Mello didn't need more explanations, Matt was someone needy, but it just seemed that he became needier now that they were together.  
Not that it bothered him, it was quite flattering to have someone hooked on him like this, but it hurt him to know Matt wasn't fine. "Let's go to bed Mattie..." he whispered, picking Matt from the floor and carrying him to the bed.

As he laid beside Matt, kissing him softly, Mello felt him stiffen beneath him.  
Within seconds, the blond was flipped on his back and Matt was devouring his mouth, groping and caressing him all over.

The lovemaking was powerful, overwhelming, devastating. Mello was helpless in Matt's arms, undressed, tossed and turned, worshipped and used all at once, filled and emptied, until post sex found them entangled together, trying to catch their breath, sweat rolling on their skin as Matt possessively embraced Mello and pulled him against his chest, dozing off.  
Mello stayed awake, looking at the ceiling, unable to get rid of the sick feeling of losing control. Matt was amazing, breathtakingly passionate and generous, but so disturbing at the same time...

* * *

Knowing Matt left his job at 5pm, Mello had managed to persuade his boss to let him leave early and drove to Matt's job around 6pm, asking to meet Calvin once he had made sure Matt had already left.  
He quickly made the kid, that was not even older than himself, understand that he wouldn't leave without Matt's PSP. He was so persuasive that Calvin took a break and drove home at breakneck speed to pick up the device and give it back to the blond, who left the placed after making it clear for Matt's workmate that he'd better keep his mouth shut and make sure that Mello would never have a reason to come back again.

He came back home right after that and spotted Matt at his desk, playing on his laptop, happily surprised to see his lover home so early.

"I have something for you." Mello smiled, handing out the gaming console to his boyfriend.  
Matt immediately recognized his PSP thanks to the sticker at the back, and practically made Mello fall as he hung himself at his neck, covering his face with kisses.  
"Thank you Mello!" he squealed, not even caring to question how Mello got his way through getting it back, "I'm gonna make dinner. You're done working for today, right?" he worried briefly before Mello reassured him that he wasn't going anywhere for the night.

They ate, Matt babbling joyfully while Mello stared at him with a smirk. He loved seeing Matt like this, worry free and as hyper as a puppy.

When they finally slid under the sheets, Matt was limp in Mello's arms, snuggling against him tenderly as he laid butterfly kissed in the blond's neck. Mello searched for his lips, capturing them in a deep kiss, expecting to be pinned to the mattress soon, but Matt stayed still, kissing him back, softly stroking his hair.

Mello lifted himself on an elbow, looking at his boyfriend questioningly. But Matt only smiled, letting his fingers run on the blond's cheek tenderly. Quite puzzled, Mello resumed kissing Matt, tugging at his shirt and letting his hands roam on the uncovered skin.  
Matt moaned softly as fingers brushed against his left nipple, and Mello quickly replaced his hand by his tongue, sucking on the pink skin, as said hand reached lower, under Matt's waistband.  
The blond could feel his lover get hard, confirming he wanted this. He had wondered briefly if Matt simply wasn't up for that since he hadn't made a move to dominate Mello like the previous times, but that didn't seem to be the case.

Mello then went on, pulling Matt's jeans lower to free his erection as he wrapped his hand around the flesh, stroking it slowly. Matt's breath turned to pants as pleasure grew. His face almost buried in the blond's shoulder, he grasped the sheets, Mello speeding the movement of his wrist.  
"Mello!" he cried, his voice breaking as he came, shuddering, all over his boyfriend's hand. Mello kissed him deeply, claiming the redhead's lips as Matt laid still, his hands stroking the blond locks lovingly. His lids were half shut, a smile on his lips as Mello broke the kiss, searching for his eyes. But all he could see in them was tenderness, nothing of this strange expression he had seen twice in Matt's eyes.

Smiling back, his hand reached lower, and he used Matt's semen to prepare him, using his other hand to help Matt undress totally.  
Once his lover was ready, Mello quickly got rid of his own clothes, his leather pooling at the bed's feet as he slid, naked, beneath Matt, placing his elbows on each side of the redhead as he nestled himself between his thighs.

Pushing slowly, he penetrated Matt, locking his eyes with him, careful of any sign of pain. He hadn't thought about asking the redhead if he could take it after what Mello had done to him a few nights before, but Matt simply smiled, pushing slightly with his palm on the small of Mello's back, urging him to move.  
Mello rocked against his lover, his hips speeding as Matt met his moves, moaning loudly.

Suddenly, Mello felt panic rise in his guts. Coming out of nowhere, questions appeared in his mind, looping on and on and coming back no matter how much he tried to focus on what he was doing.  
Why was Matt so different? Did Matt love him more when he protected him? Would Matt stop loving him if Mello tried to push his boyfriend to stand for himself? Would Matt leave him if he found someone that would protect him better?  
Tears began to form behind his tightly shut eyes as he tried to erase these thoughts from his brain, but no matter how hard he tried, it became worse, until it became unbearable.

He slid an arm under Matt's waist, as he used the other to support himself, and began slamming into Matt violently, bending over him. As his mouth met Matt's shoulder, he bit it, holding the bone under his teeth during all the time he pinned Matt to the mattress, pounding hard.  
Matt whimpered, but snaked his arms around Mello's waist, holding him firmly, still meeting his moves, his forehead against Mello's shoulder.  
Mello came, finally letting Matt's shoulder go, as he groaned, his thighs contracting hard.

He let himself fall beside Matt, trying to regain his breath. But when he turned to look at his boyfriend, he saw blood dripping from the redhead's shoulder. Matt caught his apologetic look as Mello leant to kiss him.  
"It's ok Mello, it doesn't hurt." he simply said, against Mello's lips.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I did that... I'm sorry Matt..." the blond whispered, unable to retain his tears anymore. But this time, it wasn't only guilt that was constricting his chest. It was anger...


	6. Chapter 6

_**Note:** I know... I took my time updating Lionheart. I took my time to update anything at all, considering I haven't posted anything in three weeks more or less. But I had a good reason: real life. As much as I wanted to write, I had to find a new job first, being freelance wasn't possible anymore. Now that it's done, I'm back! (with a loooot of evil cliffies XD)  
_

_I'm updating Lionheart before Lithium, because I had this plot preventing me from focusing on Lithium. It's been on my mind since I began Lionheart and I keep mixing ideas with Lithium so I guess it's better I finish Lionheart before going back to Lithium._

_So far I have up to chapter 8 written, but since I'm a cruel bitch, you'll have one per day during the following days, it will probably be 10 chapters once complete so expect 5 days of updates starting today ^^_  
_Then I promise, I'll be back with Lithium, and I'll complete the umpteen remaining chapters!_

_I promise I'll reply to the private messages I got, too. Sorry about not replying earlier._

* * *

The room was silent. Even the battery of the clock hung to the wall seemed to die to preserve the calm from its annoying ticking. Only some faraway cars on the fastway took their chance at breaking the train of Mello's thoughts.

Matt had left for work early that morning, and Mello was still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. He would have to show up at the Mafia hideout at a moment or another, but right now, his mind was focused on the loop made by his guilt for biting Matt the previous night, the fact he didn't know why he did that, and the knowledge that since Matt had left early and himself would be back very late in the night, it meant they would barely see each other today, and Matt would probably feel bad or cry once again. The thoughts turned round and round in his head, and Mello felt overwhelmed by them, in a very negative way. Suffocated. Because he had no solution. And after all, how could he solve a problem when he didn't even know what the problem was?

They could be perfectly happy if Matt stopped being so dependant, and the blond even felt like he wouldn't have been violent with him the previous night during their lovemaking if Matt didn't make him feel this way.  
Mello had always been the kind to take out his anger on others. Be it being mad at himself or at anyone else, other kids at Wammy's had always taken the beating nonetheless.

No, Matt wasn't guilty. Mello sat on the border of the bed, shaking his head. He couldn't hold Matt responsible for his own mistakes, Matt was the way he was, and Mello couldn't blame the redhead for loving him that much, and above all for the anger himself felt in front of his own inability to make his lover feel better, to fulfil his every need.  
"I'm such a crappy boyfriend..." Mello whispered, heading for the shower. He knew deep inside that Matt wasn't the violent kind and that protected or not, he would never fight back, he'd probably let himself be beaten to death rather than giving violence back. But Mello couldn't help but scold himself for protecting him, maybe if he hadn't been behind his back all the time, Matt would have stood for himself someday?  
Matt had the guts to do it, Mello could feel it in their rough lovemaking, when Matt dominated him so completely the blond could only play the ragdoll in his arms. It wasn't a matter of strength, so why? And at the same time, yesterday, it was Matt who went limp in his arms, tender and sweet, not a single harsh move, just softness all along...

Mello finally rinsed the shampoo as he realised he had been painfully scrubbing his scalp, lost in his confusing thoughts. A few minutes later, he was riding his Honda, heading for the Mafia hideout, trying to leave the confusion behind.

Matt started as the door rang. Mello never rang, he had his own set of keys, and no one ever came in the shithole they lived in. Except for the postman sometimes, but it was much later than the time the postman usually appeared at.  
The redhead pushed the interphone button: "Yeah?"  
"I have a delivery for Mr Link, Mario Link. Is that you?" a young male voice replied in the device.  
Matt smiled. Mello was inventive for sure.  
"Yeah, that's me, second floor, left door."  
He opened the door as he heard footsteps coming from the stairs, and closed it back again with a foot once the young delivery boy left. His arms full with a huge cardboard box, he crossed the room to deposit the package on the coffee table, barely seeing where he was going.

After rummaging in the kitchen for scissors, Matt came back with a knife and quickly cut the plastic security encircling the box, before pulling the top open.  
His eyes went wide at the sight of the latest gaming device he was waiting for since he had learnt it would be out soon, along with several games.  
"Oh Mello..." he sighed happily as he stirred the console and games from the box, spotting an envelop at the bottom of the package.  
_"Hey sweetie, I'll probably come home late tonight, I may not even come back at all, I'm really sorry but my boss insisted to give me extra work and I can't refuse since there's a promotion in the end (which means that after tonight I won't be working so late anymore, so please don't me mad at me, there's something good in the end!) and I thought this could help you pass time until I can hold you in my arms again. I miss you. M."_

Matt read the card several times, imprinting every word in his mind, analysing, over analysing, and finally broke down and cried.  
He didn't know how to understand these words, this attention. Would Mello really leave him alone all night? Would he come back at all? Was he trying to make excuses to stay away from him? Was he spending the night with someone else? Was he saying the truth about not coming back late after tonight?  
Matt knew he should believe his boyfriend, there was no reason not to... Mello had never lied to him, he was the only one he trusted, after all. So why? Why the doubts? Why the pain? Why the tears?  
Irrationally, the redhead went on torturing himself with negative thoughts of Mello in someone else's arms, making fun of him alone at home playing his new games while he was fucking someone else.

Slowly, Matt stood up. Staying still, unmoving except for his fists clenching so tightly his nails dug in his palms, he tried to reason himself. He felt double, and briefly wondered about his sanity. He knew Mello wasn't lying, but still he destroyed every positive thought in his mind replacing each one with the worst scenario about Mello cheating on him.  
He knew Mello loved him, but still he turned the beautiful feeling into a fake interest, into Mello staying with him only because he couldn't stand for himself.  
Matt became suddenly sure that if he stood for himself someday, then Mello would leave him, because if Matt didn't need protection, then Mello wouldn't have a reason to stay anymore. Maybe that's what he'd unconsciously done for years, after all... making sure he needed protection in order to make Mello care for him.  
"I won't stop..." Matt murmured to himself, "I'll never let you go..."

Picking up his phone, Matt dialed the number of his job place.  
"Calvin, hello."  
"Hey, Calvin, it's Matt, I need to talk to the boss..."  
"'kay, wait a minute."  
The sound of the receiver hitting the counter resounded, soon followed by steps fading away and heavier ones coming a while later.  
"Hi Matt, what's up?"  
"Hello Mister Wayne, I just called to say I quit."  
"Oh!? Why? Is there a problem?"  
"There's no particular reason, I just want to quit."  
"Wait, you can't quit like that, wait at least that I find someone to replace you!"  
"I'm sorry Mister Wayne, I can't."  
"Ok... I guess I can't do anything to convince you... but I didn't see that coming..."  
"I'm sorry. Goodbye."  
Matt ended the conversation as quickly as he could. Mister Wayne had been kind enough to hire him despite his poor skills and his lack of social abilities, and he felt a bit guilty to abandon the man like this, but he needed to.

Smiling to himself, Matt finally sat on the couch after plugging his new console and inserting one of the games in it, launching the system. He would wait for Mello, and everything would be fine once Mello would be home. Everything would be perfect, forever...

* * *

Mello hesitated slightly before turning the key. He carefully pushed the door open, readying himself for a storm named Matt to hit him, but even once he stood in the living room, nothing came.  
"Matt?" he called, after his eyes wandered all around the room, the redhead being nowhere in sight.  
The new console and games had obviously been used so the package had arrived and Matt had evidently enjoyed it, but there was no trace of his boyfriend. The bed was made, the cushions on the couch arranged, the kitchen was clean, he noticed, as he deposited the groceries he had bought on his way home on the counter. Matt seemed to have gone on a cleaning spree.  
"He can't be at work, it's sunday..." the blond mumbled, calling his boyfriend once again, "Matt? Where are you?"  
Mello spotted Matt's furry vest on the back of the desk chair. The redhead wasn't out. His cigarettes and lighter on the desk confirmed that.

It's only when the sound of running water stopped that Mello finally noticed it had been running all along since he arrived home. He walked to the bathroom, the door opening as he put his hand on the knob, pulling him forward, making him lose his balance.  
"Mello!" Matt yelled, catching his boyfriend before the fall, "Mello, you're finally home!"  
The redhead hugged him so tightly that Mello couldn't breathe properly. "Hey, I'll soon leave feet first if you suffocate me like this!" the blond laughed, steadying himself on his feet and pecking Matt on the lips.

Matt buried his face in Mello's neck, inhaling him. He smelled of leather, chocolate, smoke, and something else he couldn't place. But there was no trace of perfume, except a faint smell of shampoo fragrance. He withdrew to face Mello and smiled contentedly.  
"Hey, making sure I don't reek of girl perfume?" Mello chuckled, teasing his boyfriend as he cupped his left cheek with his palm. But Matt's expression quickly told him that it was exactly what he had done. "Matt. Tell me you didn't... how can you think..." Mello didn't even know if he felt anger, deception or surprise. Why? Why would Matt do that, think that?  
"Sorry..." Matt whispered, lowering his eyes as tears began to spill.  
Mello cupped his other cheek and forced Matt to look at him.  
"Matt. What did I do to make you believe I could cheat on you? Please tell me you won't imagine things each time we're not together! You know we can't always be together!"

Of course they could! But Matt knew better than say it out loud, for Mello probably wasn't ready to hear that.  
"I'm sorry, it was stupid... I just had a bad day yesterday and I'm a bit losing it..."  
"Tell me what happened sweetheart..." Mello hugged the redhead, stroking his silky locks, still damp from the shower. Matt seemed worried, more than usual at least.  
"I lost my job..."  
"What?! How did that happen?" Mello faced Matt again, searching for his eyes, looking at him in disbelief.  
"It's not going that well and the boss needed to reduce the staff, and since I was the last one arrived... it's nobody's fault... I'll find something else." Matt replied. There. Mello wouldn't be able to fix that, the lie was good enough so there was no way Mello showed up at his job place to have them take him back.

"You already had a hard time finding this one..." the blond sighed, but he quickly thought better of it, not wanting to sound like he wasn't supportive, "I mean, don't bother searching for something else, I know how much you dislike going out and all, it's ok, you don't have to work, I earn enough for both of us. Especially since I got promoted..." he added the last sentence, waiting for Matt to react.  
"Really? You really don't mind me staying at home?"  
Mello stared at Matt. Did he really not care about his promotion? Was all he cared about the fact he could now stay at home?  
He couldn't be mad at Matt for that, the redhead was beaming, and seeing his lover so happy was worth this little disappointment.

Matt exulted. Mello would never leave him or abandon him, right? After all, Mello now knew that Matt relied on him completely, so he would never let him on his own...

"I've bought stuff to celebrate my promotion..." Mello said, letting go of Matt and heading for the kitchen.  
"Leave it all to me! I'll run you a bath, just relax while I prepare everything, ok?" Matt was almost jumping from joy, adjusting the tap of the bathtub and pouring some dark liquid from a bottle Mello had never seen.  
"What's that?" the blond asked, bending above the tub to look at the foam forming as water mixed with the brown bubble liquid.  
"Chocolate bubbles, I bought them for you..."  
Mello smiled and kissed Matt tenderly, "You should be the one soaking in this bath, after all, I'm the one that loves chocolate here, and I plan to have you for dessert." he winked.  
"Not before I devour you for lunch." Matt grinned, leaving the bathroom door open as he left.  
Mello chuckled, throwing his clothes in the laundry basket before letting himself slide in the hot water, sighing in delight.

Relaxing and cleaning himself, Mello could hear Matt hum in the kitchen, along with sounds of spoons in bowls and oil frying. Soon, the smell of food came to his nostrils, and his stomach forced him to get out of the water and dry himself, hunger poking at him.  
Bare chest, wearing only sweatpants, he entered the kitchen and smiled at the sight of Matt with an apron, preparing two plates of italian food.  
"Hey, I could get used to my little Mattie-housewife..." Mello whispered in the redhead's ear, snaking his arms around his waist from behind, before giving a small lick on his earlobe.  
Matt's grin of delight was eloquent. His boyfriend was happy. He could make him happy.

Since Mello was now the boss of his own Mafia branch, he wouldn't have to obey orders anymore, thus he could come and go as he wished. He wouldn't be away from home as much as before, Matt wouldn't be working anymore therefore he wouldn't put himself in trouble anymore, and everything would be perfect.  
What more could they ask for?

Swallowing the last bit of his food, Mello stirred. "I'll need to go to work tonight, only for one hour or two though, just something urgent to do, but right now, I'll gladly have my dessert..."  
His smile vanished as Matt's eyes darkened into this expression Mello still hadn't placed.  
"Let's see who's gonna eat who..." Matt purred, sliding from his stool and pulling Mello in his arms. But in this purr, Mello didn't only feel lust and seductiveness, he felt a _threat_.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Note:** Be warned, now the real angst and cliffies begin... XD_  
_That's what Snappygirl asked for, so you got it girl ^^_

* * *

Matt's eyes glowed with this _something_ again. Mello stared into these blue orbs, waiting for the moment they would return to their usual softness. He found himself on his back, on the bed, still searching for something to reassure him in Matt's gaze, as the redhead hovered above him, but he couldn't find it.  
His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that it resounded in his ears, and he could almost feel his chest jump in rhythm with the loud thuds, and would have believed his ribs would pop out under the stomping of the organ if Matt hadn't been totally unphased as he nipped and licked his torso, pinning him once again so completely that the blond was helplessly trapped between the mattress and Matt.

Both's clothes quickly scattered beside the bed as Matt moved on Mello like a snake encircling a rodent. Mello kept on trying to catch a glimpse of something reassuring in his boyfriend's eyes, but Matt was all over him, never allowing their eyes to meet, as he caressed, kissed and groped the blond's body religiously.  
If the attention Matt was giving him hadn't held so much of a worship, Mello would have been _really_ scared. But in the middle of this dominating wave, Mello knew he was only drowning in love and care. As disturbingly possessive as Matt's actions were, needy and desperate, and the roughness so far from his temper, Mello felt loved beyond words, treasured, almost venerated.

So he let himself fit the role of the marionette, as the redhead crawled up, left hand sliding under the blond's head, fingers entangling in the golden locks, to kiss along his cheek, his jawline, to end in his neck, Mello only tilting his head to give him better access.  
Mello felt Matt's teeth rack against his skin. He moaned in pleasure as he felt a finger probe his entrance at the same time.

The pressure of Matt's teeth grew with every finger he pushed in Mello. The blond's shoulder began to hurt, but it was still a good kind of pain, and the redhead's fingers curling to meet his sweet spot made the overall feeling amazing.

Mello would have squirmed of pleasure if he had been able to move, but Matt had such a grip on him that he could only moan, his muscles regularly tensing in delight under the ministrations. With the redhead's jaw firmly making a claw trap on his shoulder bone, nerves sometimes rolling with a borderline pain under teeth each time Matt moved, Mello felt like being mated to some kind of feline in a jungle of copper lianas.

Mello had almost reached his peak. Matt's extended forearm, to get his hand between Mello's legs, had been massaging his hard on all along the preparation, and Mello could feel the tension in his lower abdomen, telling himself he wouldn't last much longer.  
But Matt withdrew his digits and pushed himself inside of Mello's tight hole in one hard thrust, biting his shoulder violently.  
"AH! Matt!" Mello whimpered, painfully surprised. Was Matt taking revenge for the time Mello had bitten him?

Quickening his pace, Matt pounded Mello into the mattress, kissing him where he just had bitten him.  
Mello, unable to hold on any longer, came hard, the friction of Matt's stomach on his erection combined to the penetration quickly finishing the job and sending him through the roof.  
It's only when Mello came down from his high that he realised that Matt was silent.  
Still thrusting into him, his forehead on his shoulder, holding him so tight Mello could hardly breathe, but silent, barely panting.

"Matt." Mello whispered, trying to get his lover's attention. Matt's thrusts stopped, but he didn't move from his spot.  
"Matt?" he called again. Then he heard them. Muffled sobs. He had wondered how Matt's forehead could produce so much sweat, a few seconds ago, as he felt his shoulder dampen quite a lot.  
Matt had been crying for long minutes, but why?  
"Hey... hey sweetheart... shhhh, tell me what's wrong..." Mello murmured, his hands reaching for Matt's copper locks to stroke them.  
Matt's hands slapped them away, capturing them in one above the blond's head as he lifted the upper side of his body to meet Mello's face, resuming his thrusts, harder every time, tears still running on his cheeks, falling on his boyfriend's face.

The redhead's look was penetrating, eager, so directly diving into his that Mello felt even more naked than he already was. Depossessed of his own existence as he suddenly felt like being swallowed into something he had no control over, something that made him a part of something rather than a fully free being.

Matt came, his groans ending in heartbreaking sobs, his eyes never leaving Mello's, pouring tears, pain, frustration, the emotions dancing like a play for Mello's eyes to witness, and then, softness, back from the dead, as Matt lent to kiss him so tenderly Mello didn't know whose tears were wetting his face anymore as he was finally allowed to hold the redhead snuggling closer to him.

* * *

Mello was pestering against his men. None of them had had the intelligence to call him to tell him the job was done, so he didn't have to do it himself. So much for wanting promotion from the new boss, those stupid thugs had made sure to do extras, but none of them had thought about actually telling him it's been done and he could just stay at home.  
So he had left Matt and his puppy look a little earlier for nothing.  
This whole bunch of retards had been up for a little punition, just to make sure they knew that the boss never gets tender about that kind of attentions if even the tiniest of things gets fucked up along the way. A few knees were shot in the process, as a little reminder of the boss' seriousness.

Mello had become the boss of this branch too quickly to some of his men's likings, killing the actual leader instead of trying to gain his trust and power step by step. Mello was not one for patience, and he knew that this move had been double sided.  
The fear inspired by an effeminate blond that looked more like an angel than a murderer and didn't care about taking the risk of putting the whole mob on his back talked in his favour. If the new boss had been self assured enough to risk a backfire, then he was either stupid or extremely dangerous.  
Mello had taken the right amount of time to prove he was all but stupid, thus the backfire had been immediately smouldered to a burning light of respect in most of the ones that were now _his_ men's eyes.  
But it also meant that among the Mafia, some greedy thugs would think they could equal Mello's genius and steal the spot the same way he did. A few painful deaths later, in the middle of the hideout for all of his crew to witness, and the chaff was winnowed from the grain. Some even _trembled_ under their new boss' gaze, as his eyes surveyed, as a warning, the men still standing among the corpses bleeding on the concrete.

Still seething, he roared his motorbike back to life and left the hideout.

Matt was pacing back and forth in the living room, unable to focus on his games. Mello would be there in less than two hours, maybe even earlier. He knew he should be happy about it, he hadn't seen Mello that much since... well, since they began dating each other. No... it was even before that.  
Mello had regular shifts when they had moved in here, things had only started to get hectic a few days later.  
And then the ballet of negative thoughts started the show again...  
"Maybe he met someone at work and came back later because he was spending time with him... or her..." he murmured to himself, finally letting himself fall on the couch, lighting a cigarette., "No... we weren't dating, so there was no reason he wouldn't have told me he met someone... but still... why coming home so late? And his leather... at the end of the day, it looks like he wore it all day long, but he can't wear that as a waiter, they wouldn't allow it where he works, it's not the style of the place... did he find another job? He would have told me... oh fuck I'm going insane..."  
Shaking his head, he crushed the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table, and lit another one.

The smell of his own cigarette reminded him the scent of smoke on Mello when he came back home. Well, it was normal that his leather and skin caught the smell in a bar. Nothing to be alarmed with. The leather even kept the smell after being dry cleaned because of Matt smoking a lot in the apartment.  
Suddenly, something came back to his mind. Another smell. What was the one he had sniffed on Mello, that he was unable to place although he knew it?  
A second guess later and he knew that among smoke, shampoo, chocolate and leather scents, it was the smell of gunpowder that he had met. He knew it all too well, as it sent him back to his childhood and the policemen shooting his parent's murderer to death, as himself was being assaulted savagely on the tiny bathroom's tiles. He still could smell blood mixing with gunpowder.  
But why would Mello smell of gunpowder? No matter how much he thought about it, there was no reason coming to his mind. He would just ask Mello, after all, the blond had no reason to lie to him.

The lock clicking open stirred him from his mind wanderings, and he jumped on his feet at the sight of his boyfriend in the doorframe.  
"Mello! You've been quick!"  
Mello had only the time to throw his keys on the nearby furniture that Matt was already giving him a bear hug.  
"What I had to do was already done when I arrived, they forgot to call me to tell me."  
"So you're all mine now!" Matt was slobbering him all over with kisses and Mello felt like being licked by a faithful puppy.  
But Matt stopped as fast as he had begun, smelling gunpowder on Mello again.  
"Mello, why do you smell of gunpowder?" he asked bluntly.  
"You're sniffing me again Matt." Mello scolded him, glaring at his boyfriend in reprobation.  
"I'm not, you just reek of that smell, I can't ignore it." Matt frowned at the accusation.  
"We use gunpowder for drinks where I work, in one of our cocktails..." Mello knew he had to lie, and sound convincing, "I had one before leaving, that's why."  
He seemed convincing enough for Matt smiled and kissed him. "But isn't it bad for your stomach to swallow that?" he asked genuinely.  
Mello laughed, relieved. "My stomach is coated with chocolate, nothing can happen."  
"I'm sure it's called a Molotov." Matt chuckled, "It would totally fit."  
"Yeah." Mello didn't want to linger on the topic, "What about ordering pizzas and you show me those new games? I don't even know what more this new console does than the ones you already have."  
Matt beamed, nodding enthusiastically. Anything to make Matt happy...

* * *

It's been three days that Matt radiated happiness. The smile on his face never left his lips, from the moment he woke up in Mello's arms to the moment he fell asleep after Mello made love to him, sweetly, gently, tenderly. Mello was sure he had even seen Matt smile in his sleep.

The blond had barely called his men from time to time, making sure everything was ok, but stayed at home, with Matt, as long as he wasn't needed in person at his hideout.  
His phone rang as he was having breakfast at the kitchen's counter with Matt and the pile of pancakes the redhead had lovingly prepared.

When Mello had called him Mattie-housewife, he hadn't guessed that his boyfriend would take this role so seriously. The apartment was squeaky clean everyday, the bed made as soon as they left it, the dishes had barely time to sit in the sink, they were immediately washed, dried and put away, the fridge was always full and the meals had never been so balanced and tasty.  
Mello didn't complain, it was weird, but pleasant, and he even got a back massage from time to time, and his bath prepared with lots of chocolate bubbles every evening.

Mello listened to his interlocutor, frowned and ended the call by a simple 'ok'.  
Matt looked at him inquisitively, still munching his pancakes.  
"I have to go to work today..."  
Mello thought that after three full days, Matt wouldn't be too sad to let him go for a few hours, but the look in his boyfriend's eyes told him otherwise. "Come on, you know I need to go to my workplace from time to time, it's not as bad as before, I'll be back tonight, maybe even earlier, I just have some furnisher to meet." he lied, caressing Matt's cheek.  
"I know... it's just that I got used to be with you all the time, I like it..." Matt breathed not to cry. It was stupid. Of course Mello would leave the apartment from time to time, and he should already be happy that he didn't have to leave everyday, but still, it hurt.  
"I know sweetheart. Listen, I'll call you when I'm over and we'll eat out, we can even go to this restaurant you like so much, ok?" What could he do to appease the pain in his lover's eyes? It was starting to pinch at his guilt and he didn't like it at all.  
"Ok..." Matt smiled weakly.  
Mello finished his pancakes and left after kissing Matt deeply.

"One day I'll have to tell him the truth, I can't lie to him this way..." he mumbled as he climbed on his motorbike in the parking lot, looking up through his helmet at their apartment's window, where Matt was waving at him. "God, I love him so much... I'll tell him everything when I'm back."

* * *

His chin resting in his palm, his elbow on the desk, Matt was absentmindedly surfing through the internet. He had cleaned the mess from the pancakes, taken a shower, vacuumed the apartment although it didn't need to be, played and finished one of his games, and didn't feel like playing anymore, so after deciding there was nothing good on tv, he finally settled in front of the brand new laptop Mello had bought him the day before.  
He wanted to offer something to Mello, but didn't know what, and was trying to find ideas on online shops.  
Then he came to the realisation that since he had no job anymore, he had no money he'd earnt himself, and you don't offer something to someone with their own money...

Plugging different wires and connecting some of his older laptops and servers to the newest one, he then installed many softwares, some of them he had created himself for fun. It was time to see if they could be of any practical use, instead of staying theoretical.  
Hours passed, and Matt was still focused so deeply on his screen that he didn't notice it was already half past ten in the evening. The sun was long gone and the redhead was working in the dark, the only light coming from his screens.

"Got it!" he smirked, when he finally managed to enter the system of a bank he'd been trying to hack into since the beginning of the afternoon. He didn't think it would be that easy. Making sure to erase his tracks, he closed the connexion, sighing happily at the thought of the five hundred pounds now filling his own account. He had started small, it was no need to be greedy until he was sure there was no risk. He doubted there was any, but he had preferred to be careful anyway. They didn't have his real name after all, the account had been created with fake identity and files a few minutes earlier. Mister Mario Link had now enough money to offer a present to his lover. Would Mello be Sonic Zelda? Matt chuckled, it sounded good.

Stirring, he glanced at the clock, remembering the battery was dead. Reopening his laptop's screen, he almost screamed when he saw the digital numbers.  
Panicked, he grabbed his cellphone. Maybe he had missed Mello's call? Please no, not that! But the small screen was blank, no one had called him. He verified his text messages and vocal messaging, but they were empty as well.  
Trembling, he selected Mello's number in the list and waited. It rang once, twice, several times... and then came the answering machine.  
"Mello, I'm worried, you didn't call and it's really late, it's ok if you're still working but please call me, just so I know everything's ok..." Matt tried to keep his voice firm but he knew he had failed.  
He had to stay calm, Mello would call back soon.

One hour later, and a full ashtray unable to contain the many butts of Matt's anxious wait, the redhead was still sat at his desk, his stomach twisted in panic.  
He had tried to call Mello umpteen times, unable to leave anymore messages as he had filled Mello's answering machine with more and more of his trembling voice.  
"Mello... please, don't do that to me..." he murmured, unable to retain the tears anymore...


	8. Chapter 8

Matt stood up. He was in so much mental pain that he considered, for a brief moment, slashing his arm or leg with a knife, to try to ease the worry tying his guts so hard he could hardly breathe.  
It wasn't normal. No, Mello should have called. Even if he was retained at work, he would have called, he knew Matt would worry.

Did he have enough of Matt after three full days? Did he runaway?  
Stupid thoughts... maybe not so stupid... "I'm so worthless... maybe he didn't want to take care of me... maybe he's ashamed of me... I don't have a job, I cry all the time... I'm such a useless ball and chain to his foot... I did everything wrong... he doesn't need me... who would need someone like me? He can take care of himself, I can't even save my own ass..." Matt fell on his knees, crying hysterically, rocking back and forth as he whispered his pessimistic lullaby, "I've never done anything for him, he's better off without me, I'm just a burden... oh fuck... why didn't they let him kill me... Mello would've never had to meet me... No... he loves me... I love him... I want him back... I won't let him go, I won't accept to live without him... oh fuck, I need him, bring him back to me!"

Matt jerked from the floor. He had fallen asleep on the carpet, exhausted by so many tears. He could swear he had heard a thud against the front door. Listening carefully while trying to put his sleepy thoughts in order, remembering the reason why he was on the floor, he suddenly stood up as the thud resounded again. He ran to the door and, unlocking it, he cracked it open.

A heavy weight pushed against the bottom of the door, forcing it open.  
"Mello!" Matt's blood froze as he saw the body of his boyfriend on the floor in the doorframe, "Mello! What happened to you? Oh fuck, fuck!"  
Tears began to fall again as Matt realised that the liquid staining the floor and his hands as he tried to help Mello to stand up was blood. "Mello... oh shit Mello!"  
He dragged him into the bathroom, ran back to the frontdoor to lock it, panicking that someone had followed Mello in the apartment complex, and came back to his lover who was squirming to lay on the cold tiles of the bathroom.  
"It burns... Matt... it burns..." he slurred, "Matt... I'm sorry... I..."  
Mello had passed out, unable to take anymore pain.

The blond had managed to make it to the apartment, almost crawling on hands and knees, after being caught in the explosion of a factory a little earlier. Among his men, one had never really submitted after Mello killed the big boss to take his place, even after knowing how Mello had killed him and all the ones that had went as far as only saying a single word against it. The details had been enough to scare the shit out of each of his men in the hideout and even his enemies, but one, Brooke, had secretly thought he could trick Mello to steal the spot he thought he deserved better, being the nephew of the previous mob.

So when Mello and his men arrived to the fake factory hiding a stolen cars traffic he wanted to get his hands on and needed to negociate, they were awaited for far more than a simple negociation. It wouldn't have been a problem, Mello being careful and skilled enough to stir himself out of any bad situation and getting rid of the crew of thugs quickly, cleaning the whole place with his men. He never considered anything acquired and thus had always a second thought before jumping in the fire, and it saved his life as he sent a first wave of his men in recognition before going in himself with the rest of his gang. Having a planned meeting didn't mean everything would go smoothly, he knew better than that. Never trust anyone, not even your right hand, in the Mafia. Never.

After he had heard the gunshots, he knew that what was planned now wasn't a meeting anymore, but a cleaning spree. The nephew of his previous boss taking suddenly off a little earlier told him what he needed to know about the identity of the traitor, so once inside, among the dead bodies of both his men and his enemies, he knew he wouldn't leave before he would have gotten rid of the mole. His men had been useful enough to get killed for him, but he was now alone with Brooke.

The traitor was standing a few feet away from him, both were aiming at each other. Brooke smiled. He knew his gun was more recent than Mello's, who, despite the evolution in automatic guns, kept on using his old Beretta, for an obscure reason no one knew but Mello. Thus even if both shot at each other, he would have time to lay flat before the blond's bullet reached him, but he wouldn't miss Mello.  
Mello knew it too, but he didn't blame his soft spot for the first gun he had been able to afford with the money he had saved from his waiter job, his brain was way too busy working to find how to get out of this alive.  
All he could think about was that he couldn't let Matt on his own, and suddenly regretted the path he had chosen. He had to come back home no matter what. Or at least make sure Brooke was killed.

Mello had no doubts that Brooke would end up finding Matt if he managed to kill him, via his cellphone's memory. If he got killed, he had to at least make sure that Matt would be safe.  
So he shot. But he didn't aim at Brooke.

The other man, surprised by the way Mello's arm deflected to the right, followed the movement with his eyes. When he realised Mello's intention, it was too late to focus back on the blond and shoot.  
The detonation of the fuel container he was standing next to, which Mello had aimed at, sent him feets away, his bones crushing against the nearest wall, and he would have been killed by the bruising force of the blow if he hadn't already been burnt dead.

Mello knew it was a risk to take, and when he woke up hours later, covered in dust, wood, and other remains of the place, he couldn't believe he was still alive. It took him some more hours to stir himself out of the fragments of the the wall that had collapsed on him, an unbearable pain numbing his left side.  
Little by little, he crawled until he reached an area of grass, letting himself lay face first in the dampness of the ground as rain poured on him.  
He probably passed out again, because it was totally dark when he woke up. He had gained enough strength to move, despite the horrid pain, and tried to reach his cellphone. That's when he realised that the left half of his body was burnt. A part of his left shoulder, face, chest and side. And there was no way he could use his phone who had been half reduced to a crisp in the small pocket of what had previously been his leather vest.  
"Matt..." he mumbled, trying to lift himself on his elbows, failing miserably.  
He tried, again and again. It was dark, so it was late. He had to go home, he had to be with Matt. There was a better chance that he would be taken care of properly at his hideout, considering he had a doctor there that wouldn't ask questions and would clean the damage, and more than certainly had everything required for third degree burns, but he opted for his apartment anyway. For Matt.

It took Matt long minutes to peel off the leather stuck in the wounds, and he thanked whoever that was above, and that had brought Mello back to him, that the blond had passed out, because otherwise it would have been horribly painful.  
He carried the limp body and deposited Mello carefully in the bathtub, running cold water.  
The freezing liquid woke Mello up, who couldn't help but hiss.

Carefully, Matt cleaned the burns with a washcloth, the water slowly tainting itself with blood. He then let the bathtub empty itself before rinsing Mello with cold water one last time.  
"I need to call a doctor Mello, I don't know how to heal that..." he whispered in his boyfriend's ear as he lifted him from the bathtub to a towel on the floor.  
"No... no doctor..." Mello grimaced in pain, "Go to the chemist's and ask for gauze and burns ointment, I'll be ok..."  
"No Mello, you're not gonna be ok, you've got third degree burns, we've studied enough about the topic at Wammy's for me to know you're not gonna be fine and it won't heal with whatever ointment they'll give me, you need antibiotics and probably surgery, I'm calling a doctor." Matt replied, wondering why Mello minimised the state he was in. His pain should've been enough of an indication of his condition.  
"I'm so... tired..." Mello slurred again before passing out in the redhead's arms.

Matt carried the towel-draped body onto the bed, his gaze stopping on the now severely marred face of his lover. He was way beyond wondering what had happened, his only preoccupation right now being to bring Mello to the nearest hospital, until he realised that having money on an illegal account didn't mean he had cash, and his Camaro was out of gas for days now. Walking two miles for the nearest gas station and leaving Mello alone in the meanwhile wasn't an option, and considering the state of Mello's attire when he got home, any cash he had was now in ashes along with his wallet. Matt briefly considered carrying Mello to the hospital by foot but it would probably hurt Mello even more than he already was, and after a quick internet search, knowing the closest clinic was three miles and half away, he would never make it til there. So much for Mello wanting to live in a peaceful (Matt would call that empty) neighbourhood.

After a call to a cab company, and being informed that night rides where being paid in advance, Matt scratched that solution as well.  
Doctor. Matt needed to call a doctor. If he explained well enough, the doctor would come with perfusions and blood pouches and everything, right?  
But go find a doctor that would care to make a home visit in the middle of the night in that creepy area of the city...

Several fruitless calls later, Matt slammed the receiver of the phone after one last negative reply. Time was running, and although Mello seemed asleep and breathing almost evenly as Matt checked on him every fifteen seconds, the blond was sweating and obviously feverish.

"Come on, aren't you supposed to bring your fucking assistance to people who need you, dammit?" the redhead groaned, before remembering Mello's half melted phone on the bathroom floor in the middle of the leather pieces he had peeled from Mello's skin a little earlier. Maybe did Mello's coworkers know of a doctor, or could be of any help?  
At this point, Matt would have done anything to get help, and since he had no acquaintances, he would use Mello's.  
Stirring the chipset from the deformed plastic, he prayed for it to work, as he replaced the one in his own cellphone with this one.  
A few seconds later, he sighed in relief as he accessed Mello's phone's memory. Browsing through the names, he almost cried when he read the word 'doc'. He pushed the call button and waited.

"Hi boss." a voice resounded on the other side of the line.  
Boss?  
"Errr... hello, I'm... I'm Matt, Mello's... friend. I know you don't know me but Mello came home severely burnt and I'm trying to find help..." Matt knew he was losing it. Suddenly, saying the words out loud made him realise how bad Mello's state was, the truth hit him like a slap in the face, "Please! I don't know what to do, he's got third degree burns and he passed out several times and his face... I don't want him to die... please, help me!"  
"Where are you? Give me the address, I'm coming." the man replied, his tone not betraying any emotion.  
Matt gave him the address of the apartment complex as well as the number of the door, trying not to cry on the phone.  
"I'll be here in half an hour."  
The click told Matt the man had hung up. So the redhead finally allowed himself to break down and cry.

Mello's pained moans resounded, as the blond regained consciousness. Matt jerked up, running to Mello's side.  
"Mello! The doctor's coming, he'll be here soon! Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of you..."  
"What doctor... no... call him again... tell him not to come..." Mello murmured, the burn on his face tightening the skin so badly that his lips were almost unable to move properly.  
"It's ok Mello, I called your doctor, he accepted to come immediately." Matt replied, trying to soothe his boyfriend.  
"What are you... tal... talking about... my doctor..." it was obvious that Mello's fever was gaining him little by little, Matt could see his boyfriend weaken minute by minute as he tried to form coherent words.

"There was a 'doc' in your phone's memory, I called him and gave him our address, he'll be here soon, don't worry, it's gonna be ok now."  
Mello tried to sit up in a violent move, causing himself even more pain.  
"NO! Oh Go...d M... Matt... what have... you... d...one..." Mello let himself fall back on the mattress, exhausted by the effort.  
Not only would someone from the Mafia know where they lived, but soon the news would spread that the big boss was nothing of a threat anymore for an undetermined amount of time, leading to the best to chaos, and to the worst to the pure elimination of the boss and the one living with him. But it was too late, they had the address...  
"We... need to... go..." Mello was fumbling with the towel draped around him weakly, trying to get out of the bed, but Matt pushed him back down.  
"No Mello, please, stay calm, I know it hurts but the doctor will give you something for the pain, but for now try to rest, you're doing yourself no good by moving like that..."  
"You don't... un...derstand... Ma...tt... We... have to... go... before..."  
The doorbell rang. It was too late.  
"Mello, please! You need help, stop being a baby, the doctor is here." Matt didn't understand why Mello seemed so agitated about a doctor's visit. What did he expect? A blow and a kiss on the wounds and goodbye pain?  
"Matt! Promise me... you won't... say anything during... all the time the doctor... is here." Mello glared at him, as Matt turned his back to him to go open the door, "PROMISE!" That was all he could do now, prevent Matt from saying anything that would cost them their lives. If they weren't killed as soon as the door opens, that is.  
"Ok ok! Don't get so worked up about that..." Matt would have been shocked by Mello's words in another situation, but right now, he was much too worried about getting Mello taken care of, much too relieved by the doctor's presence, and moreover he put Mello's strange attitude on behalf of pain and a clouded mind.

Pulling the lock, Matt didn't have time to open the door more than a few inches. He was roughly pushed back by the barrel of a gun, as the door slammed open against the wall...


	9. Chapter 9

Eyes widening at the sight of the gun pointed at him, Matt was much too scared to make a move, after landing on his butt. Above him, two very tall men were standing, one aiming at him with a silver revolver, the other a few inches behind, holding a black suitcase and a sport bag.  
"That's just a kid." the armed one stated, his eyes not leaving Matt, who was now shaking from fear. Why did it have to happen now? They didn't have anything to steal here, maybe the laptops, he would even give his car if they wanted, but why now of all moments, when things were already going pretty bad?

The second man entered, and spotted Mello on the bed.  
"Are you Matt?" he asked, not looking at the redhead as he approached the corner of the room where his boss was lying.  
"Ye...yeah..." Matt stuttered, following the one whose voice he had recognised from his call earlier with his eyes.  
In an instant, his mind gathered the informations to form a coherent explanation: the doctor had come with a bodyguard because it was night, and it wasn't the safest place to come to. For now, he would believe that, and he didn't have time to focus much on it anyway. All that mattered was that someone was here now, to help Mello.

The doctor deposited his bag and suitcase beside the bed, and, sitting on the border, tried to pull on the towel in which Matt had draped Mello, causing the blond to emit a pained groan. He was now under the effect of a high fever and slowly losing consciousness, not realising the presence of his two subordinates in the room.  
Hearing Mello complain, Matt jumped on his feet and ran to the bed.

"Don't make a move!" the henchman yelled, closing the distance between him and Matt, and burying the barrel of his gun in Matt's back, who was now standing beside the bed, looking at every gesture the doctor was now making. Matt began to sweat, scared and shaking, but he didn't move. He was going to stay beside Mello, and make sure that everything was taken care of properly, even with the metal digging in his spine.  
"Calm down Jim, you can see there's nothing to fear from him, he's not even carrying a gun." the older of the two men said, his voice slightly raising, his eyes giving a reprobative look to said Jim, who lowered his revolver but kept it in his hand, ready. Having a kid half his size and unarmed in front of him didn't mean he wouldn't be ready to shoot. The look in the redhead's eyes didn't bode well, he had seen apparently inoffensive guys beat the shit out of bodybuilt thugs before, and this kid knew the boss after all. And the boss said it many times, _never trust your eyes only_. The boss itself was the living proof of that.  
Grunting, he made a step backward and leant against the nearest wall, between the night stand and the desk, his eyes not leaving Matt's back.

"Why do you even have a gun? I didn't know doctors went around with bodyguards!" Matt was recovering his senses after the initial shock, and took his chance at asking, the situation too awkward for him to understand what was really going on. The doctor had called Mello 'boss', and this, Matt couldn't find an explanation to. Except if he was putting two and two together, Mello's strange shifts at his supposedly waiter job, his leather attire, the smell of gunpowder, the state he was in now, the two men present in the room...  
Matt knew the answer, it didn't even need a genius to understand, but you only see that in movies, that couldn't be... Mello wouldn't have...

"Do you really know who your... friend is, Matt? Or better, _what_ your friend is?" the doctor asked, briefly looking at the redhead and stirring him out of his train of thoughts before going back to cleaning the burns with the material he had pulled from his suitcase.  
"What do you mean? He's Mello, he's my friend, we know each other since we were kids!" Matt explained, confusion growing in his mind. Did he really want to know?  
"Matt, if he's never told you, I'm not gonna tell you either, and I suppose that he had a good reason not to tell you considering how naïve you seem to be. But there's something I'm gonna tell you nonetheless, you took a great risk by calling with Mello's phone, and would you have called anyone else, you two would be dead by now. So I suggest that you forget until the existence of his phone, and keep him here until he's able to go back to his business. Do you hear me Matt? Don't let anyone know what's happening here, and don't take any risk. I'll help you with the medical part right now, but believe me, if you two make it alive until Mello has healed, it will be a miracle."  
"Why won't you tell me? And why should I believe you? You're making so much mystery, you're asking me to be careful about something I don't even understand!" Matt was almost screaming, panic gaining him after the doctor's explanations. He knew. He knew what he meant, he knew, but he didn't want it to be that way. No, things couldn't be that way, Mello and him should be together and happy, it couldn't be so bad, things like that don't happen in real life!  
They had to tell him! Yes, they had to say it, that it was not what it looked like, that things would be ok soon and that Mello hadn't put a foot in whatever gang or anything he was the boss of!

Jim chuckled. "God, can't you even take a guess?" he smirked, totally unphased by Mello's state or Matt's panic.  
"But guess what? That Mello lied to me? This I already guessed, I'm not that stupid, that doesn't tell me who would be after us and why you shoved that gun in my chest when I opened the door, I mean, I called you, and you know Mello, so why so much trouble?" Matt was on the verge of tears, and his voice was now a mix of fear and anger. Mello had lied, or at least he had hidden things to him, and now he was alone to take care of Mello, caught in something he didn't want, only registering that Mello was in danger and that it was his fault if their address was known. He had fucked up everything. Everything. The happy life, Mello, all his dreams...

Jim shifted slightly to stand straight, pushing himself from the wall as he stepped closer to Matt.  
_This kid doesn't even falter in front of me, he's either as dangerous as Mello or he's totally stupid._  
"Listen kid... Matt. This is the Mafia..." he was cut by the doctor: "Jim! Damn, why did you need to tell him?" the older man protested loudly, his hand hung up in the air with a bloody piece of gauze in it.  
Jim only glanced briefly at the doctor, and leant back against the wall, shrugging.

Matt's eyes went as wide as plates, looking from one man to the other in disbelief.  
"The Mafia? The real Mafia?" he couldn't believe it. He had already guessed that it had something to do with a gang or something along those lines, but he hadn't expected things to be that _big_.  
"I don't know of a fake one." Jim chuckled again. God, this kid was so genuinely naïve. Why did the boss share an apartment with such a... fag.  
He did the once over to Matt once again._ Everything would make sense, two guys living together, the boss' leather fetish and girly look, although the one with the chick attitude wasn't the most effeminate one of the two..._  
"Jim, not everyone is used to what we see everyday, stop being so sarcastic. Can we focus on Mello for now, and discuss details later?" the doctor said, reminding the two others of the reason why he was here.

Standing to reach in his sport bag, the doctor stirred a perfusion stand and some pouches from it, and assembled the pieces of the stand as well as the tubes, plugging them to the pouches.  
"I'm going to perfuse him with nutriments, morphine and antibiotics, he won't be able to take food by himself for days, let alone swallow medics, and it's better this way, because the pain would be unbearable if he was awake. Matt, you will have to change the pouches twice a day, and clean the burns and change the gauze exactly like you saw me do because I won't come back. Do you think you can handle that?"  
"I will." Matt simply replied, suddenly feeling a wave of relief wash over him as his eyes travelled on Mello's body now clean and covered with proper bandages, the needle stuck in his wrist and secured with band aid, "Thank you." he simply said, feeling like he was about to cry but not wanting to give in in front of the men.  
"Put that in the fridge." The old man held out some pouches to Matt, "They're labelled, you can't make a mistake."

Matt reluctantly walked to the kitchen to put the pouches away, his eyes almost never leaving Mello. He came back as soon as he slammed the fridge's door closed, just as the two men were about to leave.  
"Don't call ever again, Matt, and don't answer Mello's phone for him either. Actually, cut the line totally. Play dead, that's all I can advise you." the doctor said before exiting the apartment, Jim already waiting for him in the stairs, sparing him a strange look before turning around.  
"Won't anyone wonder about Mello?" Matt suddenly asked as the doctor followed Jim.  
Looking up at the redhead, the man seemed to think for a brief instant before opening his mouth: "His absence will surely be noticed since he won't reply any calls, and we've seen none of his men come back from where he got the burns, and many of the remaining ones at the hideout will try to take his place, considering him dead, but that's the best that can happen Matt, that they think he's dead. No one comes and kills dead people. Do you understand? He's dead."  
Matt nodded, closing the door and locking it.

Immediately sitting by Mello's side, Matt grabbed his phone and, still using Mello's chipset, he cancelled the line, then pulled the small piece of electronics out of his own phone, and flushed it in the toilets.  
Sitting back on the bed, he stared at Mello, mechanically lighting a cigarette. Long drags filled his lungs, but the thuds of his heart didn't want to fade.  
"Mello..." he whispered, "I can't believe it... how could you? And why? Why did you do that to us? Everything was perfect... no... you lied to me... I need to fix that, it will be perfect again, I promise..."  
Matt let his head fall, tears breaking free from his closed eyelids. He finally stood up to reach the ashtray, and stood there, still staring at Mello's half covered face. The bandages were already stained with blood and lymph, but the blond looked peaceful.  
Crushing his cigarette butt, he undressed and laid carefully beside Mello. He deposited a kiss on the uncovered cheek, and entwined his fingers with Mello's, sliding under the sheets, inhaling the scent of his skin as he felt asleep, his forehead against Mello's shoulder.

* * *

Matt arrived at the end of the last bandage, making sure to secure it with band aid. There, the fresh bandages were almost perfectly tied. But he would need to refill the stash since he had used almost everything the Mafia doc had brought three days ago.  
Carrying the used and bloody bandages to the thrashcan, he realised the apartment was a mess.  
The thrashcan was almost vomiting its content, several thrash bags were waiting to be thrown away all around the can, full of bandages, empty pouches and energy drinks crushed cans. Ashtrays were more than full, cigarette butts scattered around them, empty packs on the floor, the bathroom wasn't in better shape with towels and sheets covered in various bodily fluids spread on the floor, since Matt hadn't bothered to fill the laundry basket.  
Himself felt quite dirty after three days of not showering of even changing clothes. He had nursed Mello without a single break except for resting a bit at night. Not that Mello needed him to be awake, since he was drugged and sleeping since he had had the perfusion on, but Matt had taken a huge amount of time to manage to take care of the bandages, change the sheets and clean the wounds without hurting Mello or cracking the burns open. He had lived on energy drinks, barely eating, and he was now feeling quite drained.

Throwing his dirty clothes on the pile of towels on the bathroom floor, he stepped in the shower. Barely adjusting the water, he washed himself as quickly as he could, wanting to clean the mess in case Mello would wake up since he was running out of morphine and whatever sleep medics the pouches contained. Mello had shifted a bit two hours ago after three days of complete stillness, so it wouldn't be long until he recovered his senses at least a bit.  
Matt was worried about the pain, but he couldn't help but be happy to have his boyfriend awake soon. He felt extremely alone during these last days, and he couldn't wait to talk to Mello, and tell him everything would be perfect again, that Mello was now safe and they would always be together.  
Sighing happily at this thought, Matt dried himself and got dressed before sitting at Mello's side, resuming his favorite activity from these last days: staring at the one he loved. Somehow, he liked it this way. Mello was home, and he was Matt's, all day long, all night long, and Matt didn't have to worry about who he met, who he talked to or what he did.

A few cigarettes later, Matt's eyes had surveyed the apartment for the umpteenth time. He finally stood up and began to clean, unable to refrain glancing at his lover from time to time and running by his side each time Mello emitted a sound.  
Two hours later and several garbage bags waiting next to the door, the apartment was vacuumed, dusted, washed and in order, as well as the laundry.  
Smoking a well deserved break cigarette, the redhead smiled as Mello stirred in his sleep. He hadn't awoken yet, but he moved more and more.  
Grabbing all the bags, Matt hurried downstairs to the dumpster.

Climbing the stairs three by three, Matt had only taken two minutes to get rid of his thrash bags but he didn't want to miss Mello's awakening.  
"I'm gonna make a chocolate brownie, so he'll have something he likes to eat in case he can take food!" he murmured to himself joyfully, pushing the door closed with his foot as he threw his keys on the nearby furniture beside the door.  
But the door resisted.  
Turning around, Matt knew, by the expression in the eyes of the man blocking the door with his shoulder, that it wasn't a courtesy visit.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Note:**__ Daily update and a long chapter, it's been long since I did that ^^  
Shameless self advertising: I posted a oneshot yesterday called "Counting Scars", check it on my profile, in my stories list!  
I said Lionheart would be 10 chapters long but it seems I underestimated the plot so I think there will be 12 at least._

* * *

In a desperate attempt to close the door, although he knew that it was useless since his opponent could easily shoot through the wood, Matt slammed himself against the door, trying to push it with all his weight. But it was a lost battle, Jim's shoulder was stuck in the doorframe, and he chuckled at the redhead's pathetic attempt that only resulted in a loud thud, the tall man totally unmoving and the door cracking at its base.  
Knowing it was a lost cause, Matt withdrew from the door and ran to the kitchen. If he couldn't get rid of the man, then he should at least get a knife or something.

But Jim, pushing the door open, caught the boy's wrist before he could make it to the kitchen.  
"Don't worry, I'm not here to harm you or the pathetic excuse for a boss I have there." Jim said, his chin briefly showing Mello's direction, "Actually, I just want to talk..." he pushed the door closed and, letting go of Matt's wrist, he walked to the bed, glanced at the blond still lying there, lightly moving but not awoken yet, lit a cigarette and sat on the desk, "...for now."

Matt quickly reached the bed and sat beside Mello, unconsciously putting himself between Mello and the man.  
"What do you want?" he spat, trying to sound angrier than scared, not that he succeeded, but he really didn't want to show the fear growing in his guts. He had hoped for an instant that the doctor was here with Jim, but it was now obvious that the man had come alone.  
He was in deep shit, and he had to face it alone. And anyway, it was a good thing that Mello was still unconscious, because otherwise he would be so pissed at him that it wouldn't be good at all.  
Suddenly, he felt a cold sweat roll in his back. Mello knew he had fucked up, he knew he had called the doctor of the Mafia... would he leave him for screwing things up? No... after all, it wasn't Matt's fault that Mello had joined the Mafia, let alone hurt himself that bad, and the doctor had taken care of him, so it couldn't be as bad as it seemed... but still, Matt felt like he would vomit, at the sole idea that Mello could leave him because he had screwed up.

"You see, everyone really believes that the boss is dead, among the remaining guys in the branch he was in charge of. We are only two persons knowing he's alive and in a pretty bad condition. Three, counting you, but who gives a shit about the boss' little slut?" Jim stopped talking a moment, savouring the effect of his words on Matt, whose face was now a mix of surprise and panic. Then he went on, smirking: "The doc doesn't care about things like power or control, as long as he gets his money and is not involved in too much shit, he does his job, whoever the current boss is. He's got a thing for his solemn promise of healing anyone in need or whatever, and believe me, when he said you were lucky you called him and not someone else from Mello's contacts, he was damn right."  
Jim stood up, and walked to the nearest ashtray, then settled in front of the window, looking outside, before focusing back on Matt, whose eyes were glued to him.  
"But I'm not like this." the man's smirk turned into a cruel smile, "I care about money, power, control, and everything a man could wish for in this world."  
"What does it have to do with us? We're supposed to play dead, right?" Confusion was gaining Matt. But somehow, he was seeing it coming: blackmail.

"It has everything to do with you two. With him because there's no way for him to play dead and I perfectly know that he'll come back as soon as he'll be on his feet again, he won't accept to leave his place like that, considering what he's done to get there. And with you because you'll be an easy way to keep the boss on a leash." The man lit another cigarette, looking straight in Matt's eyes. He repressed the odd feeling the redhead's look gave him, as Matt stared back, but he couldn't help but look away. That kid had some nerve, he had to admit it, looking at him so frankly despite the fact he was armed and twice his stature. And there was something in his eyes, something that would have been even creepier than the boss' look if the kid himself had been aware of it. Something related to some kind of insanity.

Pulling himself together, Jim went back to his badass attitude, dismissing the idea that Matt could be as dangerous as his boss. It couldn't be, except this strange expression in his eyes, he seemed so naïve... not like Mello.  
"Actually, I wonder what the guys would think about the boss and you making a happy little couple..." he let the words out airily, avoiding looking at Matt, but smirking again nonetheless. He could almost hear the ticking of the bomb he had just launched.  
"I guess Mello would shut up anyone daring to make a remark about the subject." Matt replied, unphased.  
Jim laughed out loud this time. Yeah, this boy was _extremely_naïve. Not only didn't he even try to deny, but he thought that things would be that easy...

"Matt, Matt, Matt... Do you know how we call fags in the Mafia?" the man asked. _Not only what we called them, but what we do_ _to them..._ he thought.  
Matt staying silent, he answered his own question: "We call them_ cigar smokers_. Oh, not for the fact they suck dicks, believe me. Actually, they almost always end up emasculated in a corner, their own dick in their mouth. That's the Mafia's special signature, even the police knows it."  
Matt shuddered. "So what do you want exactly? Money? I can get you a lot of cash, if that's what you want."  
That's all he could offer, but since the man seemed greedy, Matt was more than willing to hack into any bank or society if Jim left them alone afterwards.

"You're exasperatingly stupid, y'know?" Jim was growing impatient. It had been funny at the beginning, but he was getting bored. That kid couldn't figure things out, and it was no wonder the boss had left him out of the confidence about the nature of his job. He wouldn't know how queers chose their boyfriends, but he would at least have thought that someone as smart and restless as Mello would have gotten himself some smart ass bad guy, not a fairy like this little redhead. "I'm gone." the man said all of a sudden. He didn't want to play anymore, and it would be a few days before the boss showed up so he had some time ahead of him.  
He reached the door, and, his hand on the knob, gave a last warning: "I'll wait for his return, until then, don't try to fool me, your balls are not big enough for that."  
Then he left, his heavy steps fading out in the stairs.

Matt stood in front of the window a long moment, looking at Jim's car leaving, until it was out of sight. He jumped ten miles high when Mello's voice stirred him out of his contemplating.  
"He's so stupid..."  
"Mello! You heard it all?" the redhead rushed to the bed, refraining himself to hug his boyfriend not to hurt him.  
"Hey sweetheart..." Mello weakly replied.  
"I'm sorry Mello! I didn't know! Please don't leave me! Please, I didn't mean for things to be that way, I'll make up for it, I promise!" Matt was now crying, burying his face in his boyfriend's neck.  
"Shhh... why would I leave you? I was the one to lie... I'm sorry Matt... maybe if I had told you all of this wouldn't have happened..." The blond raised his right hand and softly stroke Matt's hair. He had worried Matt to no end once again, but this time, it wasn't only guilt that pinched at his conscience, it was fear.

The Mafia knew of Matt's existence, and of the nature of their relationship. It was only Jim for the moment, but the man had made it clear that he would blackmail the boss without hesitation to get what he wanted. Probably Mello's place or at least being his right hand. None of that was an option for Mello, and he knew that, submitting or not to Jim's blackmail, Matt was in danger. Words could slip past lips, accidentally or not, and if no one should be trusted in the Mafia, Jim should be even less than anyone. He had been close to Brooke and that was a reason good enough to doubt him, and Mello had planned to get rid of him after the mission at the factory. He would have to carry this plan to its end as soon as he would be able to stand on his feet.

"You're not mad at me?" Matt asked in a whisper, still nuzzling Mello's neck.  
"Of course not... Matt, you should be the one to be mad right now... I had planned to tell you, I promise... I just didn't have time to do it... I've put you in a pretty big stress, haven't I?" Mello closed his eyes. He was too tired to say more. Talking took too much effort, and he just wanted to rest a bit, with Matt next to him, "Lay down, I want to feel you close to me..." he murmured, pulling Matt into an embrace with his only valid arm. Matt snuggled closer, snaking his arm around Mello's waist, trying not to touch the bandages on his left side.

Sighing, he couldn't help but speak his heart out. He had been alone during three days, and the solitude had been hard to take. He needed to have a real talk with someone else than himself: "Mello... what are we gonna do? I mean... what do you think Jim will do? If you go back there they'll kill you, I don't want you to..."  
"Matt." Mello cut him, hugging him tighter, "I will have to solve some things there, I won't have a choice. If we want to be safe, I need to get rid of Jim, and probably some others. I can't just let things like this and hope that Jim will leave us alone. But for now, I just want to rest, ok?"  
The blond didn't mean to sound irritated, but he was angry at himself and couldn't help the tone of his voice, with the tiredness.

Soon, Mello's even breathing told Matt that Mello had fallen asleep. But himself couldn't sleep. Things were turning round and round in his head, driving him insane. He tried to calm down. Mello was finally conscious, he was here with him, safe, for now, and he would recover soon, but it wasn't enough to stop the panic that made him feel helpless. Matt could feel his heart hammer in his throat, and suddenly, laid there, unmoving, not to wake his boyfriend, he thought he would choke. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to reason himself. It was gonna be ok, Mello would change his mind, he didn't have clear ideas for now, but in a few days he would have given up the idea of going back to the Mafia, he would see it was a bad idea.

Matt lulled himself with happy thoughts of a soon-to-be perfect life and drifted to sleep.

* * *

Matt didn't moved an inch until Mello woke up the next morning. When the blond finally stirred and yawned, the redhead almost jumped out of the bed.  
"I'm gonna make breakfast!" he yelled, awaking Mello completely.  
"Sometimes you make me think of the Energizer bunny." Mello stated, laughing, "I think I'm gonna take advantage of the situation and let you bring me breakfast in bed." he added, as Matt poked his head out of the kitchen to stick his tongue out at the comment.  
Examining his bandages, Mello noticed the pain growing. He shouldn't have moved too much when he woke up.  
"Matt, can you bring some painkillers with the breakfast?"  
Matt, alarmed, left the kitchen. "We don't have painkillers but I'm gonna buy some immediately!"  
He had slept with his clothes on so he quickly slid in his boots and grabbed his keys.  
"No! No, Matt... it's not that urgent. Let's have breakfast, then I'll take a bath and if you don't mind, you'll get painkillers in the meanwhile. Don't stress yourself, it's ok sweetheart."

Mello felt guilty once again. Matt, faithful as a puppy, was jumping at his every request. He was in more pain every minute, but he wouldn't let it show, Matt had had enough trouble these last days, it was no need to worry him more than he already was.  
"When I said I was a crappy boyfriend..." he mumbled to himself, trying to make himself comfortable against the pillows although he could feel his left side itch, burn and crack.

A while later, Matt was draping Mello in fresh bandages he had gotten at the closest convenient store after he had covered the burns with the ointment the Mafia doctor had brought a few days ago. Mello had taken a double dose of painkillers, and the pain was now bearable although not completely faded. You can't expect too much from Advil with third degree burns...

"I think that I'll be able to stand alone soon, probably at the end of the week. I'll take care of Jim and we'll be fine." Mello stated, out of the blue, while Matt was smoking, staring by the window. He wasn't serene and couldn't help checking for the presence of any suspicious car in the neighbourhood or the parking lot of the apartment complex.  
Matt's heart sunk in his stomach. No, no, Mello couldn't do that. He wouldn't let Mello risk his life once again, there certainly was another solution. His brain sizzled. He turned to look at Mello and smiled, the cigarette dangling from his lips, then focused back on the parking lot.

Mello was sleeping soundly after some more painkillers and a tasty dinner Matt had lovingly cooked for him.  
Matt, sat at his desk, made sure to type silently, his face glowing with the light of his laptop's screen. He had a lot to do, and had to do it fast.  
Once he had set a P.O. Box at the nearest post office with his now usual fake identity, he made his way through the security system of the biggest furnisher for medical supplies for hospitals and, once he had found what he needed, placed an order. The delivery would be fast, and he wouldn't even have to pay for it. God bless security failures. If God agreed on Matt was doing right now, that is. Matt wasn't convinced of that, but he wasn't a believer so whatever.

When he was done with his hacking, he left the apartment, and walked to the nearest gas station, a container in hand. He'd need his car in the next days, so it was time to get some gas. And now he had a good load of cash in his wallet, thanks to his new and full bank account. Mr Mario Link was rich, extremely rich.

The sun was already high in the sky when Matt parked his Camaro in the parking lot of the apartment complex. He reached the stash of medical supplies in his trunk, stash that he just had picked at the post office, thanks to an overnight delivery to his P.O. box, and took the few necessary items, leaving the rest there.

"Matt?" Mello called when he heard the door.  
"Yeah, I'm here Mello." the redhead replied, leaving what he had in his hands on the kitchen counter and walking to the bed, "I needed to go to the chemist, we didn't have gauze and bandages anymore. There was a lot of traffic so it took me long, I'm sorry, I didn't think of leaving a note."  
"It's ok, I just woke up." Mello pulled him close and kissed him. Fuck the pain, he was feeling an urge for physical contact, and he was going to have it. Sliding his hand under Matt's shirt, he tried to pull it over his head, but using his left arm hurt too much, and he fell back on the pillows, sighing in exasperation.  
"You just have to ask Mello, no need to get worked up about that." Matt pulled his shirt off and leant to kiss Mello's pouty lips, "But are you sure you can..."  
"Of course I can!" Mello protested. Burnt or not, he was still a man, and he still wanted to fuck Matt's brain out.  
Or the other way around, considering his state.

Matt's lips traced the blond's jaw as he threw the sheets at the foot of the bed, uncovering Mello's naked body, only covered with bandages. His member was already hard, and Matt moved down, capturing the erection in his mouth.

"Matt..." Mello called him after a few minutes, "Matt... not like this... I want... together..." he panted, trying to push Matt away before he reached his peak.  
"Mello, I don't want to hurt you..." Matt murmured. Mello was stubborn but Matt couldn't bring himself to have sex with him the normal way, Mello wasn't ready for that. The freshly closed wounds could crack open with any harsh move.  
"At least let me return the favour." Mello complained, reaching for Matt's zipper.  
Matt undressed totally, and, placing his knees on each side of Mello's shoulder, he lowered his pelvis until Mello could comfortably take him in his mouth. The blond winced at the contact with his chapped lips, but he went on.  
"Huh Mello..." Matt moaned as his boyfriend's tongue swirled around the tip of his erection. They usually had sex almost everyday, and now it was five days that they hadn't done anything like this. Matt had missed it, and feeling Mello's lips suck him so eagerly sent shivers through his spine. Resuming what he'd been doing to Mello a little earlier, he returned the attention with the same hunger.  
He could feel Mello's hand press against the small of his back, asking him to go even lower, as the blond deepthroated him, humming lightly. Matt couldn't take it any longer, he shot his load in Mello's mouth, groaning around his lover's member who twitched lightly before spurting its hot liquid a few seconds later.

A few minutes later, Mello's stomach growled, as they were cuddling, post sex laziness taking over them.  
"Oh right, we didn't even have breakfast!" Matt noticed, glancing at the clock, "although it's already half past noon."  
"Breakfast is ok, don't bother making something complicated." Mello stated, rolling on his right side where Matt's body heat had warmed the sheets.  
"I wonder if you really want to save me work of if it's an excuse for getting chocolate pancakes." the redhead winked before heading for the kitchen.

Matt hesitated slightly, while making the dough for the pancakes. Taking the small glass bottle on the counter, he briefly checked the notice before letting two of the capsules drop in his palm.  
He made a pile with half the dough for himself before opening the capsules and dropping the powder they contained in the bowl.  
Mixing consciously, he baked the rest, making sure to put them on another plate, then covered them with chocolate before bringing the plate to Mello.

Wiping his mouth with a paper towel, Mello swallowed the last bite of his chocolate covered pancake.  
"Mmh, sex and chocolate pancakes, what more could I ask for?" he sighed contentedly, snuggling in the pillows.  
"I'm pretty sure you could come up with something, knowing you." Matt giggled.  
Mello yawned. Once, twice. "I feel a bit dizzy, I probably took too much painkillers" he whispered, laying down in the bed again.  
"Take a nap, there's nothing else to do anyway, in your state." Matt smiled, depositing a kiss on his forehead and taking the tray to the kitchen.

Putting the tray in the sink, Matt washed the dishes, and made sure to put everything away, along with the valium capsules.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Note: **__Sorry for not posting this yesterday! My DSL box died and so I don't have an internet connexion anymore, but it should be solved on wednesday at worst, until I can go to the store and exchange the box.  
It's a pity I have an Iphone and I am unable to transfer files from my laptop to it, since I have a connexion on the Iphone... Even bluetooth is against me, arg!  
So I'm using my dad's connexion right now since I'm visiting my parents for Easter (800km way and back the same day, I'm gonna be dead tonight...) but I won't update in the next few days since I'll be back home tonight then.  
Next chapter is probably the last chapter and believe me, the apparent calm of this one means nothing...  
_

* * *

Mello dozed off most of the afternoon. At some point, Matt took his pulse as the blond was sound asleep. Maybe he had had the hand a bit too heavy on the dosage. After all, Mello had been on morphine until the previous day, and had taken a good amount of painkillers.

Matt knew pretty much about benzodiazepines and other anxiolytics since all Wammy's students had to take classes about drugs and all substances affecting human behaviour, going as far as to make the students test some of them to be able to recognize if they were being drugged.  
So he knew the exact dosage he should give Mello to keep him in a semi sleepy state. This way, his boyfriend wouldn't think of going back to the Mafia, he would be unable to. But Mello's system probably still carried some of the previous medications he had been under and Matt had to be careful not to poison him.  
Oh, Mello would have, in a normal state, noticed he was drugged, but after what he had just been through, he was unlikely to guess anything.  
It was for his own good, Matt tried to convince himself, it was to keep him alive. And he couldn't feel any guilt for what he was doing, so it wasn't that bad, probably.

* * *

Mello woke up with a nausea. He had felt quite weird during the previous days, but had put that on the account of not enough food, since he was most of the time not hungry, but felt the need to drink water more than he usually did. His mouth felt constantly dry.  
He could now stand up without difficulties, after a full week, his wounds had closed and were less fragile, so he could move without Matt's help. But he wasn't very steady on his feet and sometimes stumbled, or felt his legs shake slightly. Matt had gotten him a different kind of painkillers, a bit stronger than Advil, the redhead had said. Maybe it was that stuff that he prepared him twice a day that was too strong? He was still in pain, and would probably be for a long time, but as Matt had said, and he was right, Mello couldn't stay on morphine, the risk of addiction was too high. And Mello didn't want anything to control him, being under the influence of an addiction was not his thing.

The blond made his unsteady way to the bathroom just in time to throw up in the toilets. His empty stomach rejected only bile, making things even more painful than if his stomach had been full. But the sole idea of food wasn't appealing at all. Even the thought of chocolate made him sick.  
He rinsed his mouth and almost crawled to bed, letting himself fall on the pillows, exhausted.  
Matt stood up from the deskchair to check on his boyfriend. Mello was shifting uncomfortably to put the sheets away from him.  
"I'm all itchy..." the blond complained, unable to bear the contact with the fabric and standing up again.  
"It's normal, the burns are healing, it'll get better in a few days." Matt tried to reassure him.  
"No, not the burns, I mean, not only the burns, it's my whole body... like an allergy or something."

Matt didn't show his discomfort, but he perfectly knew that it was one of the valium's side effects, along with the nausea. But these were better than to be killed by the Mafia, weren't they?  
Dismissing the worry, he headed for the kitchen and prepared a tray for Mello.

"Eat, you'll feel better afterwards." He said softly, kissing Mello's temple as he bent to deposit the tray on the bed.  
"I'm not hungry." Mello mumbled.  
"Mello... you need to eat, I know you feel sick but it won't get any better if you starve yourself." Matt was trying to hurry Mello to accept the food. He needed to get back on his laptop to finish with what he was preparing, and it had to be done fast, or at least, he wanted it to be done fast, he would feel much better once he could move on with his plans.  
"I know... I just hate feeling like this... Are you sure these new painkillers are good? Maybe I should stop..." The blond shifted to reach the glass containing the drug on the tray, staring at the liquid like it would give an answer.  
"Please... Mello, eat. Maybe it's the painkillers, but it's only because you barely ate these last days, your system can't handle the medics with an empty stomach. Please." Matt tried hard not to show his impatience, "You can't stop the painkillers, you're already in a lot of pain with them, imagine what it would be without..." he tried to convince his boyfriend, who finally drank what the glass contained and began to pick at his food.

"I'm sorry Matt... I know it's not easy for you either... you're forced to do everything, to go out for groceries or medical supplies, to take care of my bandages, and I'm moody on top of that. I'm sorry..." Mello stared down at the food tray. He had put them in a really bad situation, he could have gotten Matt killed, or himself, leaving Matt alone, and he kept on complaining...  
Matt cut him, cupping his cheek with his palm, forcing Mello to look at him: "Mello, stop that ok? I'm happy to do what I do, and happy that whatever happened, you came back and made it alive. I'd do even more if I could, so please, just take care of yourself and leave the rest to me. Eat, sleep, be your bitchy self, and stop apologising."  
Mello stared in Matt's eyes, unused to see the redhead so self assured, and in charge. He was usually laid back and dependant, and it was weird to be the dependant one this time. But he smiled at the last comment.

Mello began to eat, more to please Matt than to fill his stomach, that was already protesting with the food intrusion. Swallowing hard, he willed the wave of nausea away, maybe if he could keep a bit of food, he would feel better in a few minutes.

* * *

The trunk was overloaded, as well as the passenger's seat and the floor space between the front and the back seats.  
Once everything was in the Camaro, Matt came back in the almost empty apartment, and picked up Mello bridal style.  
The blond was draped in a warm blanket, unconscious, and didn't move as Matt laid him on the back seat, making sure to place a pillow under his head, and adding one more blanket.  
The apartment's door was still open, but he didn't care the least, after all, they would never come back, and he had put all their belongings in the Chevrolet, minus the furniture, that could as well rot here, for all he cared. No need for a crappy and creaking bed, an unsteady desk or a ripped out couch. Only their clothes and the few things they wouldn't leave behind were necessary: consoles and games, books, laptops, pictures and various souvenirs. Even the TV, DVD player and other multimedia devices were abandoned in the old apartment.  
Mello wouldn't mind, Matt was sure of that, he wouldn't mind at all since the redhead had planned to replace everything with much better.

Looking around, Matt decided it was safe to leave, and, sitting on the driver's seat, he started the Camaro, lit a cigarette, checked on Mello still unconscious on the back seat, and exited the parking lot.

The sun was beginning to announce itself with shades of pink and gold, barely rising the outside temperature. There was just one thing that Matt regretted with this old Chevrolet model: air conditioning. The old style heaters could barely warm the compartment, and he could still see his and Mello's breath form a light white fog as they exhaled.  
From time to time, he would stop, sliding a hand under Mello's blanket to verify his body temperature, but the blond was warm enough. Each time, Matt feared he would wake up because of the cold hand touching him, but Mello didn't make a move or a noise. This anaesthesic was useful, and could be handy later, in case Matt needed to do something like that again, he thought.

Matt had been a bit anxious at the idea of using it, at first, but even with valium, Mello would have been able to wake up, even if groggy, and it wouldn't have been easy to move quickly without arguing the situation.  
The most difficult part had been to inject it. He had tried to get one that could be swallowed, but none was to be mixed with benzodiazepines, the risk of poisoning and heavy side effects couldn't be taken.  
He had had to wait for Mello to be sleeping deeply, and had plunged the needle on the red spot where the intravenous had previously been placed when Mello was on morphine and other medics from the Mafia doctor. He hopefully hadn't missed the vein, and even if Mello had slightly awoken with the sting, the aenesthesic was fast enough to make him go back to sleep in less than three seconds. Maybe he would remember that when he would wake up, but Matt didn't care, and didn't worry. He had time to find an excuse or just let Mello see where this was going and appreciate the effort.

Matt did that for them to be safe, Jim had come roaming around the apartment complex two days ago, and even if he hadn't bothered entering, Matt knew that he had probably come to check for their presence.  
Matt had cursed inwardly that day, realising as he saw Jim that he didn't even think of buying a gun to protect them. If the man decided to come in, Matt would never forgive himself for not being more far-sighted. Once the henchman gone, he had searched the whole apartment in case Mello had hidden a gun somewhere, but he found nothing. Knowing that Mello had probably one before, he couldn't have gone in the Mafia without, it was most likely lost somewhere near the place where Mello had got the burns.  
That's when he had decided to leave the place, making sure that no one saw them leave, and he had also bought some nice fire arms that were now safely placed in the gloves compartment, ready to be used, just in case...

Matt felt at ease despite the cold. Maybe it was the fact that everything he needed was contained in the small space of the car compartment, between locked doors, and he could witness the world waking up, sun rising slowly, making the wet road glisten and giving back colours to the vegetation on the borders of the lane, without the world being able to actually reach him. Safe. Together.  
It was a bit weird to him, to be driving for so long on such a long and deserted road. He was used to city traffic and short drives, but this time, he had to reach a place beyond the area he knew, several hours north of Winchester.  
He had considered leaving the country, but it wouldn't have been easy to transport an unconscious Mello through the airport controls, and it was probably expected for someone who ran away to leave the country, so he had decided to stay in England, but in a safest place, a cosy apartment in Manchester's suburbs. They would be less noticed in a fairly crowded area than lost in the country.

The redhead spotted a Manchester sign around 8am and followed it, soon exiting the country road and reaching the fast lane. Half an hour later, he was parking in front of a fourteen floors building, a very modern construction that contrasted with the flowery little park on the other side of the street.  
_Just like on the pictures..._he thought, as he glanced around him. He had found this apartment via the internet and presented himself as Mario Link to the caretaker, who gave him two sets of keys after Matt filled and signed some forms. The woman was polite, but not really concerned by the newcomer. She seemed to be the kind to do her job and nothing more.

He went back to the car, and parked it to the place he had been assigned by the caretaker, before picking up some cardboard boxes in the trunk. Mello was still unmoving and for now Matt didn't want to bring him in under the eyes of the woman, whose lodge window was giving straight on the parking and entrance of the building.

Fortunately, there was an elevator, so Mat decided he would bring everything in front of it, then put everything in and get all the stuff at the right floor at once. He barely had space for himself once all their belongings were in the elevator, and he prayed that no one would need to use it before he reached the fourteenth floor. He had chosen an apartment at the last floor for security reasons. Except the immediate neighbours, he and Mello wouldn't meet as much people as if they were on a lower floor, and the view from this apartment on the pictures seemed amazing, too.

Matt whistled as he pushed the door open. It was so much bigger and cleaner than their previous shithole!  
Actually, the apartment was brand new, and still smelled of fresh pain and carpet glue. He chuckled at the thought that it would soon smell nothing more than cigarette smoke.

Quickly carrying the many boxes inside in a pile, he didn't linger too long: Mello was still in the car and could wake up anytime, or someone could see him and ask questions.  
Matt locked the door behind him and came back down to the car. Carefully watching around him, he pulled Mello's still unconscious body out and, covering his head by pulling on the blanket he was draped in, slid one of the guns from the gloves compartment in one of the comforter's folds, so this way he had one in the car and one in the apartment, and, consciously turning his back to the caretaker's window, he carried his boyfriend inside. From the distance, he could as well have been carrying a rolled carpet.

Mello comfortably laid on the couch he had had delivered along with several other furnitures the day before, the caretaker accepting to open the apartment to the delivery staff of the online store for a little extra money, Matt surveyed the apartment, walking from room to room. It felt actually weird to have several rooms instead of only one.

The bed had been placed as he demanded in what would be the bedroom, the door giving on the living room would make it easier to keep an eye on Mello while he recovered.  
Getting rid of the plastic protection of the bed and mattress, Matt made a ball and threw it in the corridor. There was a lot to do but for now he needed to make the bed ready, he had had few sleep the previous night with the long drive and wanted to install Mello, and rest a bit.  
Rummaging in the box where all he had ordered online was put and inwardly thanking whoever had created online shopping, the best things for geeks like him ever, he stirred brand new sheets, comforter, pillows, mattress cover. He felt a bit like a chick when he was ordering this on the online store, but it would be so nice to sleep in a fully made bed with non itchy sheets and a duvet comforter, he had even gone so far as to choose the pattern: plain cream white cotton with gold english embroidery. He didn't know why, but he thought that it suited Mello. If it had been his tastes, he would probably have gone for the Kirbys on a blue background, but Mello would have hated that.

Placing the assorted curtains on the rod, Matt stared at the room: it was so beautiful, with the pure designs of the embroidery and the clear colors. The fake lamb skin carpet covering the wooden floor almost completely made the bed look like it was floating on a cloud. He smiled to himself, realising that he and Mello had never lived in such a beautiful place, and this time, they could have everything they wanted, the most expensive stuff. He felt a bit of nostalgia at the thought of the old apartment, after all, Mello had worked hard to be able to rent it at first, to take him out of Wammy's the day he turned 18. Now was his turn to offer the best to Mello, but of course, Mario Link had much more money than Mello had when they left the orphanage...  
Pushing the chest of drawers against the wall facing the bed, he went back in the living room to find Mello sat on the couch, his head resting on his knees, silent.

"Mello? Are you ok?" he asked, knowing that Mello was probably very groggy.  
"Mmh." was all Matt heard as a reply. Sitting beside Mello, he brushed a few strands of golden locks out of his boyfriend's face. Mello shifted and buried his face in Matt's chest, mumbling something incoherent.  
"What?" Matt questioned, unable to understand a single word.  
"Where... are... we?" the blond repeated, trying to articulate although it was clear that is was difficult for him.  
"In our new apartment. I hope you like it." Matt replied softly, kissing the top of Mello's head.

Mello straightened and, with half lidded eyes, looked around him then at Matt, but he was mostly zoning out, unable to put his brain in action.  
"'kay..." he slurred, snuggling against Matt to sleep.  
"We have a bedroom now, and a comfortable bed, you know." Matt smiled although Mello couldn't see, standing up and picking up his boyfriend bridal style once again.  
He carefully laid him on the bed, pushing the comforter open and undressed him from the many clothes he had dressed him in so he wouldn't be cold during the drive.

As he was pulling the comforter back on Mello, Matt suddenly felt a wave of lust. Mello's skin, barely contrasting with the color of the sheets, his hair as gold as the embroidery, the faint duvet on his legs and the few fair and curly hairs of his crotch, his hipbones slightly more visible since he barely ate lately, the part of his face that wasn't covered with gauze, long eyelashes and pale lips... Matt couldn't repress the possessiveness gaining him at the sight of his boyfriend, so weak and fragile looking.  
"You're all mine Mello, I'll never let anyone harm you, never let you go..." he whispered as he slid naked under the comforter, moulding his chest against Mello's back, making sure not to touch the bandages as his hand reached for Mello's butt. Probing him, he didn't get any reaction from the blond but continued preparing him nonetheless.  
He was bothered by the fact that Mello was too drugged to react, but he wanted him so bad, so bad...

Unable to refrain his need, Matt slid his painfully erected member inside of Mello, who barely groaned in his sleep.

Holding Mello's hip as he took him from behind, Matt buried his nose in the blond strands of hair, inhaling the faint scent of shampoo, panting and moaning as he felt his peak approach, exploding inside of Mello. He wanted to hold him, turn him, slam into him, but he still could keep a bit of control, the fear of hurting Mello being stronger.  
Catching his breath, he felt tears roll on his face as he went down from his high. It wasn't rape, was it?


	12. Chapter 12

_**Note:**__ Sorry it has taken so long, this chapter had been written since forever but I couldn't find time to edit it properly. Now it's done, fortunately! I know no one's used to read about Matt being that psychotic but I'm into a process of writing fics showing other sides of Matt and Mello, although with Lionheart and Too Sexy For My Shirt, I tend to make Matt different while Mello is still Mello. Oh wait, I made Mello different in I am Someone (I almost forgot LOL)_.

Mello woke up in a jerk. His body was shaking uncontrollably, making him come back to his senses as he tried to focus on his surroundings, his eyes slowly adjusting to the lack of light, unable to recognize the place, the bed, the furniture. Even the window wasn't at its usual place.  
Looking harder at the few he could distinguish in the semi dark room, he instinctively let his hand creep to the other side of the bed, and the feeling of Matt's warm body beside him calmed him down.  
But another feeling, an unpleasant one this time, took over. Where were they? The bed was comfortable, and the carpet under his feet as he slipped from the mattress, trying to stand up, was soft and thick. But it wasn't a place he knew, and he didn't remember arriving here.

As he shakily took a few steps to the door he could distinguish on the other side of the room, gazing around him to spot clothes or at least something to cover himself, as he thought they were in a hotel room for some reason Matt would explain when he would wake up, he felt something run along his thighs.  
He knew the feeling and wouldn't have thought much of it if he had at least remembered having sex with Matt before going to bed. His anus felt sore, like if they had made it rough, which was even more surprising.  
Everything was beyond his understanding, the new place, the fact he couldn't even remember Matt taking him, but his train of thought was suddenly broken as he crumbled to the floor, already exhausted by the few steps he had taken.

Breathing deeply as he felt a nausea gain him, laid on his side on the carpet, he waited a few minutes, then stood up again, with difficulties. Matt was still lightly snoring, completely worn out by the packing up, moving to this new apartment, long drive and overall process, totally oblivious of the noise in the bedroom as he was deeply sleeping.

Mello reached the door and cracked it open. The other side didn't look like a hotel corridor, more like an apartment.  
Oh, right, they had moved, now he remembered vaguely Matt telling him so...  
The worry disappeared as he reached for the pile of cardboard boxes in a corner, and rummaged through them until he found the one containing clothes. He pulled a striped shirt out of it and put it on, uncaring that it wasn't his, as he shivered slightly.

Supporting himself on the walls, Mello made his way from room to room. Kitchen. Toilets. Bathroom. The one he was searching for. As he lit the neon lamp on, he discovered the bathtub with relief, and actioned the tap to fill it. Matt was a heavy sleeper so there were few chances that he would wake up because of the running water's sound if he hadn't already with the noise Mello had made a little earlier.  
Spotting a box in a corner, he found a few supplies. He smiled. Matt was adorable. Weird that he had moved them here without Mello knowing, but adorable all the same. Well, Mello had probably known but his current state seemed to put his brain upside down, it would get better later. After all, it was unlikely that Matt had taken such a decision without asking him first...

Adorable to have chosen a place with a bathroom just like Mello had described once, with a huge bathtub next to a window giving on a beautiful sight. Mello had always imagined relaxing in hot water, looking at the view to empty his mind. And through the glass, as the sun was rising, the blond could now see a beautiful park, with more trees and flowers than he had seen in his whole life. Even Wammy's gardens couldn't compare.

But feeling that bad was frustrating. Mello didn't appreciate the sight as he slid in the not yet filled tub, uncaring for the slight burn of the hot water, he was feeling way too nauseated, his whole body ached and trembled, and he had almost fallen as he had climbed in the tub. His head was starting to act like if his brain was trying to escape through his pulsating temples, and as he tried to rub some water on his face, his hands got covered with blood smearing from his nose.  
"Fuck..." he muttered, as he washed the blood away and began to scratch his skin nervously. He was itchy all over, even on places where he hadn't been burned in the explosion.  
He had all the difficulties in the world to wash himself, rubbing the piece of soap in his hair as he had no shampoo, and rinsed himself quickly as it ran into his eyes, stinging.

He didn't have the courage to get out of the water. With arms encircling his knees, he just sat in the water, and dozed off.

-

"Mello! Oh my God Mello!, No! Oh fuck Mello wake up!"  
Horrified, Matt stirred the body out of the water, his arms giving in under the pressure of fear taking over his body as he discovered his lover's body inanimate, head under water. He immediately searched for a pulse as he began to try to reanimate the blond he had just laid on the cold tiles of the floor.  
"Mello! Don't do that to me, oh fuck Mello, don't die!"  
Mouth to mouth, Matt put into action what he had learnt at the orphanage, trying to bring his lover back to life.

But the blond wasn't breathing anymore, no matter how much Matt tried to make him.  
The redhead ran into the living room, picking up his cell phone, and called an ambulance as he rushed back into the bathroom, panicking as the heart massage didn't seem to work either.  
The emergency staff was quick, ringing to the door only four minutes later. Four neverending minutes during which Matt hadn't stopped trying to save Mello.

Just as the men entered the bathroom, Matt having let the apartment door open for better access, Mello started to cough, vomiting water.  
"Mello! Oh Mello..." Matt allowed himself to break down and cry now that the panic left place to relief mixed with worry. He knew all too well what kind of damage such a long lack of oxygen could do, moreover when he didn't even know for how long Mello had been like this. But Mello was alive, and that was all he could think about for now, as he tried to brush the wet strands of hair out of his boyfriend's face, barely registering the men pulling him gently away to access the blond.  
"Please, let us take care of him." one of the emergencies' staff said, taking charge of the redhead, softly directing him to the corridor by the shoulders while two others gave proper care to Mello lying in a puddle beside the bathtub.  
"How did that happen?", "How long has he been in the water?", "Are you from the same family?", "Please fill this form."... questions fused all over, from when they left the apartment and Matt hopped in the ambulance, following Mello laid on a stretcher, to the hospital's counter, making him dizzy as he couldn't focus on anything else than what had just happened, and the fact he had almost lost Mello once again.  
Once he was left alone beside the bed where the blond rested under respiratory help, Matt broke down and cried silently.  
"Mello... I need to give you more, you see, I need to sleep sometimes, and I can't keep an eye on you then, it's my fault what happened, I should have given you more tranquillizers... you wouldn't have woken up, it's all my fault... I'm sorry, I'll protect you better now..." he sobbed, whispering to himself.

-

Mello shifted, stirring Matt out of his thoughts. The redhead had spent the last four days beside the hospital bed that the blond hadn't left once. He had remained unconscious, letting the doctors in expectancy as to how his brain had taken the accident.  
Matt had refused to go, forcing the nurses to accept his presence at night although it wasn't allowed. One had thought that it was cute to see how dedicated he was, but the others had just been simply scared when he had coldly stated he would stay with or without their consent. A strange light in his eyes had dissuaded them from opposing.

The blond sighed before stirring and opening his eyes slowly.  
He was barely registering that the room had changed once again that Matt was on the border of the bed, taking his hand.  
"Mello? Are you awake?" the tone was weak, the voice trembling.  
"'att... What a'... I... 'oin..." Mello stopped, the feeling of something in his throat suddenly registering.  
"Shhh... it's ok Mello... You're ok... you're gonna be on your feet soon. Don't worry, I'm here." Matt deposited a soft kiss on the blond's forehead, nuzzling his cheek before caressing it lovingly.  
He then took a few seconds to squeeze Mello's hand and kiss his palm, and called the doctor to tell him the blond had woken up.

A little later, after the doctor had checked Mello's state, removed the respiratory help and the nurses had taken care of him, Matt left the room reluctantly and, after crossing a long corridor, entered a large office, sitting in a leather chair as the doctor gestured him to do so.  
"Hello Mister Link. I wanted to see you about your friend's state. I didn't tell you earlier because it wasn't the time to do so, but I guess now you must be slightly relieved, and can hear what I have to say."  
"Is there a problem?" Matt felt his guts wring. Would Mello suffer from the accident? Would he be reduced to a vegetative state, was his brain damaged?  
"The good news are that your friend will probably be able to recover all his capacities, although the damage risk was high. Only time will tell but from the first check up, he seems to react very well to stimuli. His speech coordination is good and so it's a good proof that there wasn't any serious damage done, particularly since he was able to talk normally although he just regained consciousness, once the respiratory tube was removed. You had the right reflex by practising a heart massage as well as ventilate him all along until the ambulance arrived. But after receiving the results of the blood analysis, there are a few questions I'd like to ask you."

Matt, from that moment, knew what it was all about. He had expected it, and thus he was prepared. He had had time to think about it during the last four days, from the moment he had seen the nurse collect blood from the blond.

"Go ahead, I'll do my best to reply to all of your questions." he replied, trying to sound cooperative although he hated the intrusion in his and Mello's private life. It was their problem only what Mello or him had in their veins.  
"Do you know if your friend has difficulties to sleep?" the doctor asked first.  
"Yes, he takes pills sometimes, he is very anxious because of his work." Matt simply replied. He knew how to drive into this to make it sound simple and convincing.  
"Do you know what kind of pills?"  
"Not really, I see him take some sometimes, but I never really checked what it was, I guess sleeping pills or something like that. But he's reasonable, you know, I never see him take more than one from time to time, not even every night..."  
"Well, we have found a large amount of various substances in his system, and it is obvious he drowned because he took too much that night."

Matt faked surprise. The morphine was long gone from Mello's system, so it was unlikely they had discovered it. But the valium and the anaesthetic had surely been detected. Valium addiction was something common, but the anaesthetic was something hard to explain, even him knew it.  
"I don't know what to say, I'm shocked... I never thought he could... I mean, he knows what he is doing, he's not stupid... he knows too much could kill him!"  
"I'm sorry, I know it's hard to hear, but sometimes, stress can make us act irrationally and it's not an isolated case. What worries me the most is the anaesthetic found by the laboratory. Valium is an easy prescription, but not anaesthetics."  
"Oh... this I can explain. As you saw, he has been burnt to third degree, when we were still in Winchester. It was not very long ago and just before we moved here, he had needed care and they had to benumb him because of the pain. But how could he take valium in such a short time after! He should have known!"  
"Mister Link, I know it's something you probably don't want to think about, but I have to ask anyway: did you friend ever show suicidal tendencies?"  
"NO! Of course not! We are happy together! It's just an accident!"  
"Please calm down, this is only a question I had to ask, since we're talking about that kind of substances, there's always a possibility it wasn't an accident. I know it's hard for you, but if there is any clue showing it could have been made on purpose, you have to tell me, because we won't be able to prevent him to do it again if we aren't aware of the problem."  
"I understand, but I really can promise he never wanted to die, actually, it's the opposite, we have a lot of plans, we just moved in our dream apartment, we have good jobs and a lot of money and there's nothing wrong in our life!"  
"I see. Well, we will have to keep him under observation until the end of the week at least. His departure from our service is bound to how fast he will recover, but I'll keep you informed after every check up for a more precise date."  
"Thank you."

Matt exited the office, sighing in relief. Mello suicidal? What a joke! They were so happy together!  
Shaking his head, he directly came back to Mello's room, to find his boyfriend scowling at him, sat in the bed.  
"Matt... I need to talk to you..."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Note:** I just updated Lithium so I thought I'd go on with updating fics I hadn't touched for... years. I can't believe I left this behind since July 2010. I re-read everything from the beginning and took this occasion to correct a few typos and bad phrasing in the previous chapters.  
_  
_This one's going to be finished in the next days, because I promised this to Mello_aka_Heavencat for her birthday on may 4th :)  
_  
_I'm not completely happy with this chapter, it's a bit boring but it was difficult to make it less boring since it's not a very bouncy situation. I guess it will be better in the next chapter since the madness begins :)_

_Anyway, thank you if you're still around to read after all this time, sorry for the wait, and welcome new readers, if any!_  
_Oh, and since this fic was the gift for the ones that had won the Death Nuts contest (another fic that you can find on my profile), I think I've put everything you've asked for in this now ^^_

* * *

Matt shifted from one foot to another, feeling very uncomfortable and too scared to approach Mello's bed. The blond was still looking at him with a dark look and it was obvious that he wasn't happy with the situation at all.  
Damn doctors, Matt thought, they probably filled Mello's brain with stupid ideas but he would explain and everything would be fine.

Carefully, he took a few steps and sat on the chair he had occupied these last days, beside Mello's bed.  
"What is it Mello? I'm so happy that you woke up! How do you feel?" He babbled, trying to change the subject, but Mello had his mind set and wouldn't falter.  
"Matt, what have you done? No, let me rephrase. I know what you've done, tell me why you did it."  
The upper part of the bed was positioned so Mello could stay seated without too much effort, but trying to speak coherently and keeping his eyes focused on Matt drained the few energy he had in him.  
Despite that, he was fighting to stick to his decision, although Matt's eyes were making his brain scream to stop this.

"Mello, listen... I don't know what the doctors told you but..."  
"Stop. Matt, shut up. There was valium and an anaesthetic in my blood. That's just the facts Matt, the doctors just gave me fucking facts! How do you explain that there was enough to kill a horse in my blood damnit?"  
Mello closed his eyes. He was already so tired...  
Matt didn't know what to do. He wanted to explain but Mello wanted him to shut up, and it was contradictory enough to confuse him, so he just gaped at Mello, tears filling his eyes.  
No, not the tears, Mello thought, as he opened his eyes again, not hearing anything from Matt. He would never be able to finish with this if he felt guilty...

"Matt, I don't know how to say it another way, so I'm going to be straightforward. I'm supposed to leave in four days.  
During that lapse of time, I don't want to see you..."  
"But Mello I..." Matt's tears were now rolling on his cheeks. Not seeing Mello for four days?  
"Shut up! I don't want you to stay around, I don't want you to visit me or call me. Nothing. I have some serious thinking to do and I can't do it if you're there. I need a break."  
"I'm sorry Mello, please! I won't disturb you!"  
"No Matt, let me finish... I..." Mello gulped hardly. This was so hard to do! "I need to think about us, about what you have done. This is bad Matt, you went too far, and I don't know how we can get over this. I lost trust in you, you drugged me Matt! Don't you understand how wrong this is?"  
"I promise I won't do it again Mello!" Matt was devastated. He felt like if the ground was opening under his feet. If Mello thought about this, then he could come to the conclusion that... No! That couldn't happen!

"Matt. Calm down." Mello could feel the lump in his throat thicken. Matt was looking at him with so much pain in his eyes that for a moment, all Mello wanted to do was put everything behind, forget that he almost got killed by Matt's crazy actions, and take him in his arms to soothe him. But he couldn't do that. Matt needed help. Mello didn't know if he had mental issues or if he simply suffered from a childhood trauma, but either way, he needed help. And the first help he could get was for Mello to put a stop to this, temporarily or not. Matt needed an electroshock to understand he went too far, because right now, the blond wasn't even sure he understood the extend of his actions.

Matt sniffled but the tears kept on falling.  
"So you want me to stay home during four days... ok Mello, everything you want." the redhead decided that it was best not to upset his boyfriend further. Maybe if he complied with all of Mello's requests, he would feel more inclined to understand that Matt did all of this because he loves him. It wasn't that bad, just a little misunderstanding and Mello was obviously not in the mood to listen right now. It would be better in four days, when he would come back in their new lovely apartment, and it would even give Matt time to put everything away and decorate, so Mello wouldn't have anything to do.

"Matt, it's not only that. When I'll be out of here in four days, I..." Mello's voice broke. He was hurting himself just as much as he was about to hurt Matt at that precise moment. Better pull on the band aid in one go...

"Matt, if I'm not home in four days, then it will mean that I'm not coming back."  
"But why? Where would you go?" Matt was in total denial. His mind just couldn't process such an information.  
"Matt, I mean that if I'm not coming back in four days, our relationship is over." Mello was fighting back the tears, seeing Matt's face lose all of its colour. The redhead was so shocked that he couldn't even cry anymore.

"Matt..." Mello took his hand, he couldn't just stay there and do nothing. As hard as the situation was, he loved Matt, he knew that he was the love of his life and couldn't even imagine living without him. But he was scared. The Matt sat next to him wasn't in his right state of mind, there was something wrong, and he needed to at least try to fix him.  
"I love you Matt. I really do love you, but you..." How do you say kindly to someone that they're batshit crazy? "You do weird things, I mean, you do things that you don't have the right to do. You drugged me, and you don't seem to understand why I'm upset about it."  
"Of course I understand, but you didn't let me explain!" Matt protested, seeing his chance to explain at last, "If you'd let me explain, you'd see that I did this for you! I never meant to kill you! If I had given you more, you would never have woken and gone to the bathroom alone, and you wouldn't have drowned!"

Mello retrieved his hand. Matt didn't understand. Worse than that, Mello was now persuaded that the redhead would never stop drugging him. And even if he did stop, Mello wouldn't trust him. He couldn't live fearing his boyfriend!

"Matt, go home. We'll be set in four days."  
"But if you don't come back, what will I do Mello?" Matt's voice was a bare whisper. The information had sunk in the redhead, and it was like life had left him.  
"Go home." Mello repeated. Matt really needed to go now, because his own tears were threatening to fall and he knew that he would give in if it lasted any longer.

Matt stood up, grabbed his jacket, and left silently. Each step away from Mello felt like a knife stabbing him.  
Once in the parking lot, he sat on the driver's seat of his car and stared at the steering wheel for long minutes.  
Was it really so bad, what he had done? Well, ok, he had taken decisions without telling Mello, and drugged him so he could carry on with his plans faster, and in a safer way for Mello, but it was all out of love, so it couldn't be unforgivable.

As soon as Matt had left, Mello broke down in tears. He hated himself for doing that to Matt. He wasn't sure that it was the best option. If Matt really had some mental issues, then who knew what he could do now?  
But more than that, how could he live without Matt if, in the end, the only option was to leave him? It was terrible for Matt, but it was as painful for himself...

It was way past visiting and discharge hours. Matt drove back to the apartment, washed the grim of days at Mello's side at the hospital, and went to bed, setting his phone on alarm at 6am.  
He hardly found sleep, tossing and turning, nightmares filling the few moments he managed to doze off a bit.  
His phone woke him up in the middle of a horrible dream and he almost screamed, lost between sleep and reality.  
Getting out of bed, tired and with a growing headache, he took a few seconds to register that he was in a new apartment. He hadn't had time to accustom to the place but after rearranging, it would be much better.  
He quickly swallowed a coffee and some cereals, although his stomach was still knotted by his conversation with Mello the day before, but he pushed the memory aside and began to put some order in the various cardboard boxes.

Matt kept on glancing at the clock he had freshly hung to the wall of the living room, as he walked past it with the content of the boxes, trying to put away books and various belongings. When it ticked 8am, he left and drove to the hospital. He wouldn't go against Mello's will, so it was out of the question that he entered the building, but he parked at a place where he had a full view of the entrance. There, he would see if Mello tried to go.  
Of course, it was unlikely that the blond passed this door before the next Monday, but Matt wouldn't take the risk. He wanted to make sure he could follow him if he left the hospital and didn't come back home.

Matt repeated the same pattern every day. He would simply take some sleep, food, bath, regulating his schedule on the hospital's discharge hours, trying to make the apartment clean, in order, and to Mello's tastes.  
Deliveries arrived to the rhythm of his online shopping and soon, the home looked cosy and well furnished, like if it had been inhabited for months. Nothing was missing: the huge HD flat screen TV, the various gaming systems, a blue ray player, several laptops, shelves full of books...

Matt smiled, when he was about to live. It was Monday, and he was completely satisfied with how the apartment turned out. Mello would love it. He had even bought some magazines that the blond may like, and spread them neatly on the coffee table. The apartment almost looked like a picture in a decoration magazine.

Ok, he had to talk Mello into coming back, if his boyfriend decided he wouldn't, because it wasn't serious, Mello wouldn't really leave and would be easily convinced. Matt would apologize, promise anything Mello wanted him to promise, do everything he wanted him to, whatever it took to have him back, and Mello would kiss him and it would be forgotten.

Grabbing his keys, he locked the door and called the elevator.

Mello was waiting, sat in his bed. He had recovered his strength and the doctors didn't oppose him leaving today. To tell the truth, he had hoped that he could stay longer here. He hadn't made a decision concerning Matt. Or, to tell the truth, he knew that the right decision was to end their relationship before Matt killed him for good, but he knew that his feet would walk him straight back to him. But his bed was needed, he couldn't occupy it any longer, and even trying to convince the doctors that he didn't feel good enough to leave didn't work.  
So he was just waiting for the doctor to come for the last check up before he could sign the discharge and leave.

He had tortured his mind, his heart, he had been unable to sleep properly, seeing Matt's devastated expression each time he closed his eyes. God, how much he loved the redhead... but how could he accept to go on like this?  
Maybe, if he talked to him today, Matt would show him that he had understood, and they could just go back to normal. But if Matt hadn't realised the bad he had done by the time, then Mello knew perfectly well that facing his boyfriend, seeing him, he would still stay with the psycho he was, knowing it could cost him his life.  
The worst in all this was that he didn't even fear to die, he just couldn't imagine leaving the redhead on his own without anyone to take care of him.  
But if he left him for good, never coming back today, then it would be all the same...

In the end, as the doctor finally came in his room, Mello didn't have a single clue as to what he would do.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Note: **the DN fandom on FanFiction is so dead right now, where have you all gone?  
I miss the time when it was so very much alive and kicking! Please, I know it's now 5 years after DN was released, but keep on posting fics, reading and reviewing fics, send messages to authors, anything to keep this alive! I've heard a lot complain of the lack of stories, but if you don't follow, subscribe, review and share your thoughts with authors, it won't do...  
I won't stop writing, and probably not stop posting either, because I'm not here for the review count, but I miss sharing with my readers, really. If anything, I could just write on my laptop, work on my novel, and not on fics anymore, but then I would lose a huge part of what I love: knowing that you felt what I wanted to share as emotions, that I could make you smile or cry, that for a few minutes, you entered in my world... I just can't let this go (and I'll still be harassing you in my A/N when I'm 50 at that rate XD)_

There is one or two chapters left to Lionheart and that's not an underestimation this time, it's for sure ^^

* * *

Matt's fingers were tapping the steering wheel nervously. He'd been very patient, everyday, just waiting here. Maybe it was the simple knowledge that any other day, Mello was unlikely to pass those doors that had him waiting calm and collected, but now he was seriously just wishing he could make the blond appear in front of the building.  
Discharge and visiting hours would be over in a few minutes and he couldn't believe they'd take that long to let his boyfriend out.

Sighing, he exited his car to be able to unfold his legs, and lit a smoke, still staring at the hospital's entrance.  
After the third cigarette, he bent through his open window to check the time.  
Ok, so now it was officially past discharge hours. And he was worried.

Matt locked his car and headed for the glass doors.  
"Hello, hmm... my friend Mihael Keehl was supposed to be discharged today, is it possible to know if his stay here has been lengthened?"  
"Oh, you are Mr Jeevas right?" the brunette at the counter asked, recognising him.  
"Yes I am." Matt didn't like the way she eyed him at all.  
"No, he's been discharged actually... oh wait, he didn't sign the discharge, only the doctor did, so he must still be here. You can check him room, he should be there, but don't worry, discharge hours only ended ten minutes ago, he must be ready to go I bet."  
"Thank you, I'll check on him." Matt gave her a forced smile. He didn't want to be rude since she provided informations, but he didn't like being checked out the way she did.

He crossed the corridors. Would Mello be mad at him for coming here? No, why would he? He had probably had all the time to think and calm down, and he had more than certainly come back to better predispositions toward Matt. And he would probably appreciate a ride home in Matt's car better than in a taxi.

"Mr Jeevas?" a voice called him.  
Matt stopped and spun around, to see Mello's doctor.  
"You're late if you came to pick up your friend, I discharged him this morning and he's gone since then." the man stared at Matt briefly, "Sorry..." he added, seeing the redhead's crestfallen expression, "Are you sure he knew you would pick him up? He had a taxi called for him, it was just before noon that he left I think."  
"I was waiting for him since this morning but I didn't see him get out of the hospital... the nurse at the counter told me he hadn't signed his discharged, so I thought he had to stay here longer."  
"He didn't? Well that's strange, I did see him exit his room with his belongings, I assumed he was going at the counter to sign it and leave and..." the doctor scratched his chin.  
"Have you actually seen him leave the hospital, or at least reach the counter?" Matt's pulse was speeding.  
"No, I haven't... follow me."

Matt fell into step with the doctor. "Marina, who was at the counter around noon today?" he asked once they reached the entrance hall.  
"It was me, why?" Marina replied.  
"You said to Mr Jeevas that Mr Keehl hasn't signed his discharge, but have you seen him leave?"  
"No, I was pretty positive he hadn't left the hospital since you handed me his discharge this morning and I haven't seen him at all. Is there a problem?" the nurse was obviously uneasy.  
"Well, you may have missed him and he left without signing the discharge, it's no big deal." the doctor turned to Matt, "I suggest you try to call him or... do you live at the same place? If so, you should go home, if not, well, try visiting him, I'm sure he's been home for hours now." he smiled to Matt in a reassuring way and headed back to the corridor.

Matt left the hospital and stopped in front of the glass doors. Lighting a cigarette, he tried to analyse all the informations at hand.  
But no matter how much he thought about it, nothing came to his mind. He drove home. After all, that was the best option he had for now.  
He had almost persuaded himself that he would find the blond on the couch, so when he opened the door and found an empty apartment, the panic was equal to his disappointment. Trying to calm down, he checked every room, but everything was untouched.  
Of course Mello could come back anytime, Matt had left a double of the apartment's keys for him at the hospital, but it had been way too long since he'd been discharged.

It suddenly downed on Matt that this was an option Mello had talked about. He may not come back.  
Matt felt like if all body heat escaped him all of a sudden. No, Mello wouldn't really have decided to leave him? It was just a threat, wasn't it? Just something he had said under the influence of angriness...

Matt ran to his car, not even waiting for the elevator.  
He, or anyone, hadn't seen Mello leave the hospital. No matter what Mello had planned, even leaving him, Matt couldn't find an answer to that.  
Hammering against the glass door, Matt stirred up the nurse at the counter from her seat. Shit, it wasn't Marina anymore, and he didn't feel like explaining things to the large black woman who was not impressed by his drumming on the doors to the slightest.  
"I'm sorry Sir, visiting hours are over, come back tomorrow."  
"It's an emergency, please, open!"  
Somehow, the despair in Matt's eyes was enough for the nurse to unlock the doors.  
"I'm sorry Miss, I didn't want to disturb you." Matt tried to regain his calm, and explained briefly the previous events, "Is there another exit to this hospital Miss?" he asked when he was over with the explanations.  
"Well, yes, we have a back door for deliveries, you know, food, supplies... but patients don't use it, it's forbidden..."  
"Could he have used it without anyone seeing him?"  
"No, I'm positive that he can't have used it. It's locked, and the only times it is open, there is someone close since, as I said, it's mainly for deliveries so there are people working around, he would have been seen and not let out."

Matt huffed. He should have injected that chip. He had been afraid that Mello noticed, because a 3mm hole in your arm usually doesn't escape notice, and it takes a short week to heal. But he should definitely have injected that chip to Mello, not matter of it made the blond angry or not. He would have been able to track him, and would have avoided this mess.

He thanked the nurse and went back to his car.  
Driving at breakneck speed, he got to the apartment again, just in case Mello had made it there in the meanwhile.  
But when he was about to exit the elevator, he just had time to push on the door control button again, because in the slit of the opening, he clearly saw Jim leaning against the apartment's door, gun in hand.  
The tall man was slow to react. Matt exited the elevator three floors down and ran as fast as he could, fear pumping in his veins, to go down the eleven floors left through the stairs. He'd be faster this way, and he could hear heavy steps running above him. Jim was after him but Matt had the advantage of lightness.

He made it to his car, and when Jim was finally on him, Matt aimed at him and shot. The tall man's body fell on the ground with a muffled sound, just as muffled as Matt's gun. The redhead had thought about every detail, unto the silencer. He somehow knew it would maybe come to this, and he didn't need to alert the whole neighbourhood.  
He calmly went to the backseat of his car, grabbed a thick blanket, one that had been used to cover Mello when they had moved here, rolled the body in it, and managed after some difficulties to pull the dead man in the trunk.  
He then cleaned the pavement from the blood the best he could, the rain diluting what was left after he was done.

It was lucky that it was so late. No one had witnessed what had happened. Not that it worried Matt. It wouldn't make a difference, to kill more people now. The initial rush of adrenaline gone, he felt nothing for what had just happened, if not just a slight tension.

Climbing the fourteen floors, weary as he reached the last, Matt unlocked the apartment's door. It hadn't been forced, Jim had apparently just been waiting outside.  
Now, he regretted killing the man straight away. Did he have Mello? Where was the blond damnit?  
Maybe he should have questioned him...  
Somehow, happiness flooded him at the realisation that Mello more than surely hadn't decided to leave him, he was probably locked somewhere, and Matt just had to find him! Yes, that was it.

Matt grabbed food, drinks, cigarettes, ammos, two laptops and various batteries, and once again went to his car.  
He left the city, and once in a desert area, he opened the trunk to check on what Jim had on him that could help him find Mello. There wasn't much more than cigarettes, an engraved red metallic lighter and a cell phone. Better than nothing.

Soon the phone was linked to one of the laptops, and Matt was checking all the incoming and going calls in the memory, as well as the numbers stored. Mello's old number, the doc, and four names. All the calls emanated or were directed to the doc and one of the four names: Seth.  
Matt had no difficulties retrieving the informations concerning the holder of the line contract, and Jim's. Same last name. Brothers, father and son? Whatever. Matt had an address, and he would obviously start with this.

* * *

It had been three hours and half, almost. Matt was holding on energy drinks, forcing food in his stomach so he would be able to do whatever he'd had to do at that point. Even if he was really worried over Mello, there was no need to starve himself, it would do no good to his condition.

The door of the house he was watching finally opened, and a man got out. Matt squinted his eyes and there was no being mistaken, the guy had a clear resemblance with the one he had just killed. Brothers, maybe, but same family for sure. This one was shorter though, not that Matt minded. It was less impressive.  
The other started his car and followed the little muddy road that rejoined the main one before speeding up, Matt on his tracks, all lights out.

The man quickly noticed he was being followed, and stopped. Matt grabbed the gun he had ready on the passenger seat and exited his car, aiming at the man before the other had the time to do the same.  
"Hey, you're not a cop are you? What's wrong with you man?"  
Matt scrutinised the other's face briefly, seeing better under that streetlamp, and found out that he was scared. Good.  
He leaned against his car, still pointing the gun.  
"Do you know a Jim?" he asked nonchalantly.  
"That's my cousin... who the fuck are you?"  
"And do you do the same job as him?'" Matt stayed unphased. He wanted answers, he wasn't there to satisfy the other's curiosity.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, Seth, my question was perfectly clear." Matt lit a cigarette with the red lighter, his eyes not leaving the other man.  
"Hey! Where did you get that? And how do you know my name?"  
Matt smirked. He got the effect he wanted, and knew that if Seth had recognised Jim's lighter, then they were more than certainly close.  
"I got it on your cousin's dead body. Now answer if you don't want to end up in my trunk just like him."  
"Wha... fuck, what? He's dead? Who are you for God's sake?"  
"Gimme your phone." Matt asked.  
"Everything you want, I don't have much money on me but take everything, I don't care! Just... please I have kids!" the man carefully handed the phone, taking a step back as soon as Matt had it in hand.  
The redhead flipped it open and, keeping an eye on the man, checked the contacts list. Jim, Mello, the doc... He didn't need to see more to know that Seth was in the same boat.

"It looks like you're in a deep shit, Seth." Maybe it was the energy drinks, but Matt felt powerful right at that moment, holding a life at the barrel of his gun.  
"Tell me what you want from me, please! I'll do what you want, I promise!" the other was almost crying. Did they really hire such pussies in the Mafia?  
"Ever heard of Mello?"  
"Of course, it's the boss! I mean... it was..."  
"Explain." Matt spat. Just uttering the name was enough to pain him right now, he needed to find him.  
"Jim said he k-killed him last week and it's true that we haven't s-seen him since them..." Seth stuttered, his eyes not leaving the gun in Matt's hand.  
"So... according to you, Mello's dead... how cute." Matt's eyes were cold as ice, and the man cringed.  
"He's not?"

Matt smirked. "The one that's dead for sure right now is your cousin. And I'm quite tempted to charge you in that trunk of mine too right now.."  
"NO! Please! What do you want from me?" the man was on his knees, begging.  
"I guess I could use you alive." Matt gave him a disdainful look, "Lead me to the Mafia hideout. You drive in front of me, and if you do anything funny, I shoot you, understood?"  
"Ye-yes Sir."  
Matt went back to his car and both cars drove slowly, until they reached what looked like an abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Note:** It took me longer than expected to post this chapter, since I rewrote it yesterday, and rewrote half of it again today. I have some difficulties getting the right atmosphere here, switching between several multichaptered fics tends to mess everything in my head with the different tones I try to give to each one. That's why I'm trying to finish everything I have in progress so I can concentrate fully on what's next :)_

_Chapter 16 is the ending, it was supposed to be this one but rewriting lengthened that one._

Oh, and it seems I got a great response to my A/N from chapter 14. I've been flooded with private messages and reviews on my various fics, it was just amazing, I love you all soooo much, and I hope to be able to share my writing with you for years! I'll reply as much as I can individually! My favorite author even posted a MxM oneshot lately, so I'm feeling a lot better concerning FanFiction!

* * *

Once they had parked in front of the old building, Matt got Seth to help him get Jim's body out of his trunk, then shot the man. Leaving both bodies on the gravel, he then left quickly, the sound of cars having alerted the men inside. He just had the time to reach the end of the gravel alley that the mafiosos were in his rearview mirror. He was too far for the men to shoot though.  
He'd be back anyway, now that he knew of the location, but the two corpses would surely raise some questions and worries among the men. Which was exactly what Matt wanted.

Matt went back to Manchester, still hoping that Mello would be finally there. Finding it empty only fuelled his despair more. He was torn between hope, always expecting to run into Mello somehow, and the fear to be without Mello, to never see him again.

But for now he had to wait for a few hours, to make sure that his first move reached enough men in the Mafia. The questions raised by his actions, who killed the two men, why, who would be next, it had to insinuate among the gang, before he did another move.  
Dozing off on the couch, Matt only woke up with the first rays of sun bathing the living room. He started, and gave a glance at the clock. He had fallen asleep for barely one hour, the drive from London to Manchester had been long and ate a bug part of the night.

He began his routine: shower, breakfast, cigarette. Only after that would Matt go on with his plan. He needed this routine, it had become like a spell that was calling Mello, like if doing what he did everyday in the past would bring his boyfriend back, the two of them just like in the past...

Sitting on the couch again, he retrieved the number of the doc from his laptop, and, blurring the line with a firewall, he called.  
"Yes?" the voice of the man was weary yet annoyed. Getting a call from a hidden number was never welcome when you're in the Mafia.  
"I'm Matt, Mello's friend." the redhead simply said.  
"Had I not told you never to call me again?"  
"Well, I need your help again, but on a totally different level..."  
The doc cut him: "Listen, I don't know what you were thinking when you thought it was safe to call me again but I won't help you so don't call ever again, understood?"  
"I'm afraid you're the one that doesn't seem to understand. I wasn't asking for help, I was demanding it. You don't have a say in the matter, unless you want to finish on the gravel just like Seth and Jim." Matt, even if his interlocutor couldn't see it, smirked contentedly at the gasp on the other side of the line.  
"You...? Are you crazy?" The doc stayed silent for a few seconds, "What the fuck do you want?"  
"See, I've kind of lost track of Mello. I have the lives of all your Mafia friends in the palm of my hand, yours included, you have the means to find him. I think this is clear enough."  
"I'm just the doc here, what power do you think I have?" the doc was right, but Matt wouldn't stop at that.  
"Well, if that wasn't persuasive enough, maybe should I pay a visit to your wife?"  
"You're completely insane..." the doc's voice trembled. Matt had thrown this on pure hazard, he didn't even know if the doc had any relatives.  
"Probably, so don't take a chance." Matt replied, chuckling.

Matt gave some more instructions to the doc before ending the conversation. Maybe the doc didn't have much power, but still, he was in the Mafia, and he had a boss that he could contact.  
This could work or not, Matt didn't know the outcome of this, but Mello was a kid from Wammy's just like him, and if he had really decided to disappear, he knew as well as Matt how to erase his tracks. Matt was more skilled with hacking, computers and everything related, but even the best hacker cannot find a track that doesn't exist.  
And if something had happened to Mello, this could only be a threat from the underground, so the Mafia was his best bet at finding a lead. Maybe.

After some more researches on his laptop, he scribbled something on a piece of paper, slid it in an envelop, and left.  
He was back a good ten hours later though, and decided to cook Mello's favourite dish. Just in case the blond would be back for diner...

Matt made a call as he was eating, alone in the living room.  
"Got my little note?" he said just as the call was picked up.  
"Did you really have to do that?" the doc said angrily.  
"Just wanted to make sure that you took me seriously."  
"Leave my wife out of that!"  
"Don't worry, I just gave her the note for you, I didn't tell her that her dear husband works for the Mafia. Not yet though."  
"Bastard!" the doc seethed, but he couldn't do much. That Matt guy was a lot scarier than Mello, for he was totally unpredictable, and didn't seem very sane. At least with Mello it was all black or all white, you kind of knew where you stood, even if the tiniest mistake could cost you your life as well.  
"Nothing new I guess?"  
"No, give me time."  
"I'll finish my diner then." Matt hung up. But his plate was totally unappealing all of a sudden, as he watched the empty space all around him. Sobs began to escape him. Why didn't Mello come back?

* * *

Matt called the doc on a regular basis to be informed of the progression of things. But at some point, the boss of the Mafia required to talk to him.  
"You little shit" the boss began immediately after he got the doc's phone against his ear, "Do you think you can use my men and boss them around, and even kill them, and get away with it? Who do you think you are?"  
"Well, obviously, you don't know who I am, so I'm very likely to get away with that, Mr Dwight Gordon."  
The line went dead. Matt smirked. He was pretty sure that after this little tantrum, the boss would probably have called back to negotiate. Matt had the upper hand, and a protected line, so his phone stayed silent. He'd call himself, but later. He had nothing to negotiate anyway, if anything, he'd give the rhythm of the dance.

He waited one more day. First, he wanted to give them more time, and second, he didn't want to look in a hurry.  
It was the boss himself who picked up the call.  
Clever, Matt offered to use emails as a contact mean. Dwight Gordon, known as Rod Ross in the Mafia, didn't oppose. He quickly had a mail sent to Matt's firewalled mailbox, not knowing he had given the redhead an open door to his data.

Matt was confident, using the Mafia and leading them up the garden path was easy. Ross had even thought he was acting on Mello's behalf to trick them, but apparently the doc had managed to convince him to cooperate, and the man was willing to provide Matt with any information he would find, setting his men on the case.  
Matt only had to keep an eye on their data, to know if they made any progress. He couldn't be threatened by the organisation, and even less by their hacker. The latter had tried to hack into Matt's mailbox but only got a virus in response. "Noob", Matt thought, "I hope Mello wasn't the one to hire you, that would be a shame."

Ross barely emailed Matt, saying that they didn't progress, mostly.  
But the data said otherwise. Two days later, Matt knew where Mello was. And that Rod Ross had deluded him. All Ross was interested in was knowing that Mello was alive, when he had thought for a few days that he was dead. The doc was iced the day his boss discovered that he knew, and even had taken care of Mello at some point. Thus the reason why it was Ross talking on the phone. When Matt had thought that the doc had been useful at convincing his boss, he was already rotting somewhere in a refuse dump.  
Matt grabbed keys, laptop, batteries, and soon he was driving to Mello's location: another hideout, occupied by a powerful gang of Manchester. Mello had stayed close, at least this was on Matt's side, since the information he'd found in Ross' mail were only a few minutes old, so even if the Mafia boss had his men on the move already, they needed to cover the distance from London. But why Mello had joined a gang was beyond Matt. Why do that again, why act so dangerous?

Matt's attire would not be enough. The redhead needed more guns, more chargers, more of everything. It was quite scary to realise that you could get, legally, everything to make handmade explosives. Getting more fireguns was a bit more complicated, though. Fortunately, time was on Matt's side. He hacked into the security system of an armoury store, deactivated it, and then he just had to go there and shop to his likings.  
He wasn't really embarrassed by the choice since he had learnt, just like all the other students, to use any type of weapon, at the orphanage. Mello was the most dedicated to that class, but Matt was good at aiming anyway, games helped a lot. Who said video games were useless?

Going for the automatics and a simple Beretta, just because it was Mello's favourite, he stuffed as much chargers for the Beretta as he could in his various pockets, in the hem of his jeans, everywhere one could be contained.  
Automatics needed a cooling time, and he'd be happy to be able to shoot in the meanwhile with the smaller gun.  
Making sure he could grab the automatic he had chosen with both hands, the Beretta still in the left one, he took a second one that he would be wearing with a shoulder strap. Being destabilized by the blowback of the item would get him killed, so he needed to have a good grip on it.

He was careful to respect every red light, every stop, on his way to Mello. If he was arrested now for a stupid driving mistake, he was going straight to jail.

It wasn't long until he found the location. What with being so keen on hiding in the woods? Mello, or any Mafia guy he had encountered before, were as far from Robin Hood as could be.  
Matt parked at a safe distance. Daybreak wasn't far, the sky was softly changing colours from a deep blue to a lighter gradation of purple, pink and yellow, giving him enough light to progress between the trees he was cutting through, avoiding the alley leading to the building. It looked like an old bunker, partly covered with moss, dead leaves and mud.

There were two men talking and smoking just at the entrance. Screwing the silencer on his Beretta, Matt shot them. Neat and quick, without a sound other than bodies falling on the ground, leaves muffling the landing.  
Mello was in there, and if anyone thought they'd take him away from him, they were plain wrong.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Note:** I lied! This is not the ending! Actually, I divided the last chapter in two since it was a lot longer than expected, so you get the ending in chapter 17. Don't be mad at me, there wouldn't have been a lemon if this was the ending XD_  
_Chapter 17 is almost done, it just needs to be proofread (yes, I do proofread sometimes), so you will have it tomorrow or in two days last limit._  
_Then I'm back to TSFMS :)_

* * *

Turning around the bunker, Matt progressed slowly, careful never to face the entrance. Once close to it, he stepped over the two bodies on the ground and peeped inside. There was one man, back turned to him, that he could easily shoot from where he stood. Unfortunately, that one seemed to be speaking with another, that he didn't see, hidden by the corner of the corridor.  
Shooting the first would alert of his presence and soon everyone in here would know about the threat. Maybe they would even shoot Mello, because Matt was absolutely sure that he was there, captive.

Matt was one hundred per cent positive that Mello wouldn't have, in the end, hidden like this, and more, disappeared. His gut told him so. Ok, he had done things to anger Mello, but still, the blond loved him. Even upset, he wouldn't have gone so far, seeing that Matt was on his tracks. He would have stopped at some point and talked to him.

It was only logical that Mello had been abducted at the hospital and that, since he was here, he was retained against his will. Matt wasn't crazy, he wouldn't kill all of these people just to get to Mello if these were under his orders, that would be pure suicide. Well, Matt still thought it was, but it was for a good reason. Right?

There were plenty of ways to go with this. Matt could throw a grenade and the way would be cleared, or he could go there and wipe everyone with his automatic on his way, but there was always a slight chance that Mello got caught in the fire. That wasn't something acceptable. Matt needed a slow and silent progression.

Picking a small rock, he threw it inside of the cement corridor, as far as he could in the direction of the man whose back he could see from where he stood. He didn't touch the man for he was too far, but the ricochet that clattered on the wall next to the man before falling on the ground was enough to catch attention from both men. The first turned around while the second came in sight to have a look at where the rock came from, none of them being able to reach their guns and aim at the fiery red tuft of hair they saw in the distance. They both fell dead on the ground long before that.

No one else seemed to be with the two men so Matt decided it was safe to enter the bunker.  
He walked carefully, step by step, trying to catch every single noise coming from the inside: subdued voices, glass ringing, belly laughters... nothing threatening at that point. The corridor was empty. The place was very well hidden and didn't look like a major hideout so it was only logical that there weren't hundred of men guarding it, after all. Which helped a lot in Matt's plans. He may have been wearing a bulletproof vest under his furry sleeveless one, but that didn't mean he wanted to test the garment's solidity.

Reaching a door that most likely led to the room where the sound came from, Matt peeped through the keyhole.  
There were probably a dozen men in there, not more, playing cards and drinking. Some were inebriated enough to be easy targets, so that would be a piece of cake, really, Matt thought.  
He opened the door slightly after readying the pepper grenade in his hand, and had it rolling on the floor and the gas invading the room before anyone finally noticed that the door had been opened. Unable to shoot at sight while crying their eyes out and violent fits of coughing, bullets began to fuse from every direction. Matt had already stepped aside, well hidden behind the wall, out of reach, while the henchmen were shooting blindly, bullets not lost for everyone.

The crossfire finally died down for a few seconds, seconds that Matt took to fire with his automatic, wiping the remaining men away, careful to keep his eyes goggled and his collar over his mouth and nose. The calm didn't last though. A door on the other side of the room opened violently, falling off its hinges, revealing a crew way more numerous than what this room had originally contained. They had waited for the gunshots to end after hearing of the first salvo, not wanting to risk being caught in, and were now hurrying inside, ready to kill the freaks that were now using an auto-loader, gun that revealed that the invaders were not from this gang. They didn't hold any automatic here at the moment. Little did they know that Matt was alone. Who'd be crazy enough to do that?

Matt kept on shooting, praying for Mello not to appear in his line of sight, men falling one after the other.  
He barely stopped for a split second when he felt a bullet tear into his skin, the wound not serious enough to alter his capacities, but soon there was no one to shoot anymore. He smirked, stroking the metal in his hand. That baby was amazing. He could understand Mello's fondness for things alike, now.

Crossing the room, he made his steps silent, reaching for the opposite door. The next room was empty, as expected, and there was nothing beyond. Mentally calculating the space of the two rooms, Matt deduced that there wasn't anything left to visit here, so he went back on his tracks.  
He suddenly stopped when, avoiding a corpse on the wooden floor, his mind registered that there was actually a wooden floor in this room only. Why have wood in a bunker?  
Concentrated, he walked around the room, making his feet resound on the floor, pushing bodies to cover the whole space with his search. Bingo. An empty knock resounded under his sole.  
Bending, he pushed on the wood to test its resistance. The surface moved slightly under his fingers. Tentatively pressing all over the spot, one of the planks gave in, turning upside down to reveal a knob. Matt grabbed it and pulled, revealing a stairway.

Unfortunately, it didn't take a genius to understand that the dust and cobwebs were a good indicator that this stairway hadn't been used in months, if not years. It was only a typical bunker lower ground, obviously.  
Which meant that Mello wasn't here.  
Matt could feel the tears stinging his eyes. He was missing his boyfriend so much, and here he was, unable to find him...

Desperate, the redhead began to rummage in the dead men's pockets for any clue that would locate Mello. He didn't leave a single garment unexplored, even going as far as to search under the couch cushions, checking every single cell phone he could find on the men, but nothing. No information about Mello, no single beginning of a hint.

Matt broke down. He wanted to grip at his sanity, because he wasn't close to stopping his search for the one he loved, but he was losing it. The pain was unbearable, and maybe Mello was dead by now. Thoughts mingled and blurred in his mind, to the point nothing was coherent anymore. The fatigue didn't help either, and he lost track of time, knelt on the floor, eyes in the vague.

He suddenly jumped on his feet. There was noise coming from the outside, and soon shouts rose. Ross. It was Ross' voice barking orders after discovering the bodies in front of the bunker. Damn, how long had he stayed here like this?

Matt panicked. He was trapped in here. The only way out was now probably surrounded by Ross' men, and he didn't stand a chance at shooting and trying to run away in the open at the same time. Bulletproof vest or not, he wouldn't make it to his car on time.

Focusing, he managed to distinguish seven different voices. That didn't mean they were seven, but that was probably not far from the truth. A larger crew would surely make a lot more noise.  
Brain in action, Matt dived to the floor just in front of the first door, hiding his head under one of the corpses lying here, playing dead.

Sounds of steps approached, stopping right next to him.  
"No one alive here." one man said; Ross, who had obviously been following, grunting in response.  
The whole group of men were in his steps and they entered, one pushing him and other bodies with a foot, another walking on his hand heavily. Matt refrained a whimper when he felt two of his left hand's fingers break under the boot sole.  
They all went to check the other room. Matt jumped on his feet like a chased rabbit and exited the room, slamming the door closed before anyone could reach it, blocking it with his first automatic across the handle. He had a second one anyway, and it wasn't the time to look around for something else long enough to fit in the handle anyway, so he'd give up the gun quite happily if it meant he could make it out alive.

Ross' henchmen tried to shoot the handle but Matt was already almost at the exit. He ran as fast as he could along the corridor but as his face finally met the sun outside, a searing pain shot through his hip, telling him that not all the men had been inside. His hip was bleeding but the bullet had only tore his jeans and scrapped the skin.  
He shot back quickly, trying to ignore the sharp burning on his side. The cry and muffled sound of the man falling in the dead leaves told Matt he had aimed perfectly, but soon the full blow of shots through his bulletproof vest sent him to the ground.  
He wasn't dead, not even hurt, but damn was it painful! He would probably get bruised all over.

Breathing with difficulty, the air almost knocked off his lungs by the shots, he didn't even think when he saw a shadow bend over him. He grabbed the knife in his boot and slashed the air until his blade finally hit something. Blood splashed his face before the weight of a body fell on him. Matt could feel the taste of the liquid in his mouth, and he almost threw up.  
It was becoming very difficult to breathe with that dead weight on him. Wiggling, he finally managed to free himself, and stood up, wary. He glanced at the man he had just killed, who was emptying from his blood, his throat open. Nothing came his way so it was probably safe now.

Well, except for Ross and his men still trying to pass the door. Luckily, you don't break a thick steel door so easily.  
But you can, if you hound for it long enough... The door was making a sound that obviously meant it would give in very soon under the several shots and kicks.

It wasn't easy to proceed with two fingers broken, but Matt managed to stir other grenades from his belt. Real grenades this time. The door had given in, considering the yelling that was approaching. Looping his three valid fingers in the grenades' rings, he unsecured them quickly one after the other, throwing them one by one in the corridor, as hard as he could.  
Then he ran away to his car.

He hadn't made it to where he was parked already but the explosions in his back gave no hope for Ross and his men. The bunker was small, they were trapped between cement walls, there was no escape from the blows he could feel behind him, his hands covering his ears.  
When everything became silent again, he turned around. There was smoke, undetermined pieces of whatever rising in the air and falling back down, leaves flying, catching on fire before just disappearing, consummated before they even reached the ground again, and the smell of charred _everything_: wood, steel, cement, flesh... and this blood taste still lingering on Matt's tongue, that was all of a sudden not that disgusting, probably good, even.

* * *

The place was way more luxurious than the bunker. Not that it was surprising, it was Rod Ross', the _Mafia boss_' place, after all.  
The building itself was crappy, and in the crappiest area of the city. You don't locate an illegal organisation's hideout in the middle of a cosy neighbourhood, do you?  
But the single view Matt had been able to get from the lobby, as someone entered, gave him a pretty good idea of Gordon's kitsch taste of decoration. Kitsch but expensive.

From where he stood, drowning in the shadows in an alley nearby, he spied on the movements around the place.  
He had driven here straight away after blowing up the bunker.  
Ross not coming back, the rest of his men would begin to search for him, and Matt wasn't taking a chance at being tracked down.

When everything became calm, no comings and goings anymore, Matt wired the place.  
Slowly, carefully, making sure to place the handmade explosives at every strategic spot. He climbed gutters, reached balconies, not a single corner was left uncovered by his calculations. His left hand was numb to the pain at that point, swollen and blue, but he would take care of that later.  
Satisfied, he unrolled the bunch of wires unto a safe area, where the blow couldn't reach.  
Really, things shouldn't be that easy, Matt thought. Who knows what a madman could do, having access so effortlessly to such means of action? He smirked to himself. Right now, it was lucky for him it had been that easy, actually.

He pushed the button of the remote in his hand, and watched as the smallest explosions started at the base, setting the building on fire. First step, no escape possible. Unless you want to jump by the window and kill yourself anyway.  
Soon, bigger ones attacked the foundations, but the mansion didn't even have time to collapse on itself that the upper floors exploded in pieces.  
Maybe Matt had been a bit heavy-handed...  
_Oh well_... Matt thought, flames reflecting in his eyes. From where he stood, it was a bit strange, looking at such a fire burning and being too far to really feel the heat.

There were a lot of people in there, obviously. It was like watching a movie, one that would be ending real bad for the actors. They were screaming, burning in the fire, crushed under the building... but there was no coming out of this alive. Matt had made sure of it in the way he had the place wired. Anyone managing to escape the burning building, which was already very unlikely, would be trapped in the smaller explosions now blowing again at the base, the final of Matt's firework.  
_Mello would have liked that..._

* * *

On his way back to Manchester, Matt could feel himself falling asleep on the stirring wheel. Forced to stop in a gas station along the fastlane, he slid with difficulty out of his car, threw his blood stained vest on the passenger's seat, cleaning his face the best he could, looking in the rearview mirror, before getting in. No need to raise suspicion.

Munching on some tasteless food from the convenient store next to the station, Matt yawned almost continuously, but not even the energy drink he got to help the awful sloppy sandwich down his throat managed to keep his eyes open.  
Relinquishing, he made it to the backseat and fell asleep almost immediately.

When he woke up, it was dark, and it took him several seconds to remember what he was doing here.  
Recovering his senses, he exited the car, stirring to erase the ache from the uncomfortable seat in his back. He was quickly reminded of his several injuries, that, if not threatening for his health, were still very painful, especially his broken fingers. His hand looked awful.

Matt went back to the convenient store to grab some coffee at the counter. The guy behind didn't spare him more of a look than the first time.  
Back in his car, Matt glanced at the clock: he had slept for five hours in a row. That was not really surprising, he hadn't gotten much sleep lately.

* * *

Matt felt a lump form in his throat when he parked in front of the apartment complex in Manchester.  
Now, after all he had done, the only feelings left were despair and pain. The physical pain was nothing compared to the excruciating breaking of his heart. What would he do now? Where to search for Mello?  
If he had been in the bunker, he hadn't stayed there, obviously, so where was he? Where?

Resting his back against the cold metal of the elevator's wall, the redhead was crying softly. All energy had left him. He was tired. Tired of driving all over the country, tired of making plans, of blowing things out, tired of being without Mello. The part of him that wanted to keep searching was obviously giving up, too...

Dragging his feet, he exited the cubicle and entered the apartment.  
His mind was only beginning to process that the door wasn't even locked, although he had made sure he always locked it before leaving, that he spotted a blond head jutting out of the couch's back, and Mello jumping to his feet at the sound of the door.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Note:** Now this is really the ending. It feels weird. But I feel accomplished XD_  
_I never thought I'd take that long to write this fic, at the time I started it, I thought it was only a matter of a few weeks. I will try not to delay so much in the future, first because I can't keep you waiting like this, and because it's a pain to get back in the mood for a story after so long._  
_I haven't changed anything to what was planned for this fic so I'm pretty happy that I didn't change my mind and made it totally different, it's true to what was originally planned._

* * *

"MATT!" Mello was crying, running to Matt, "Matt, oh my God!"

Matt was frozen in place, unable to decide if he should laugh or cry at that point. Mello was here... Mello was back here. And he was holding him in his arms... so everything was all good now?  
The emotions were too much to take at once and Matt broke down in sobs, hugging Mello back hard, unable to utter a word.  
"Oh my God Matt..." Mello whispered, pressing the redhead against him, his hand instinctively running in his hair to soothe his boyfriend, "The things you've done Matt... I... I'm sorry..."

They stayed like this for a long moment, until the initial shock died down and Mello was able to speak coherently.  
He grabbed Matt's face in his palms and smiled softly, brushing strands out of his eyes.  
The redhead was still unable to talk though, staring at Mello without even blinking.  
"I'm not going anywhere, not anymore, not without you..." Mello said, understanding everything that was contained in that insistent look.

The blond entwined his fingers with Matt's, making his boyfriend whimper because of the pain.  
"Damn, what happened to your hand?" Mello opened wide eyes at the sight of the swollen and blueish fingers. He also took in the blood dried over the ripped jeans on Matt's side and pulled him to the bathroom, opening the tap to run a bath before starting to undress Matt, who let him do without protesting. He was obviously still in shock.

Mello explained everything, Matt not even interrupting him once, only listening carefully, keeping his eyes on him like if he was afraid that Mello would disappear again, following his demands obediently as the blond took care of him.

It hadn't been easy to run away from Matt. When Mello had spotted the familiar car in the parking lot, he had just had time to hide, the reflection of the sun on the hospital's glass door saving him from being seen by the redhead in the distance. He hadn't made a decision. Or at least, he knew that the right decision was in total contradiction with what he wanted to do. He had to get away from his psychotic boyfriend, but he loved him and couldn't even begin to imagine leaving him. He just needed more time to choose between the safe thing to do, and jumping right back into psycholand, knowing he may not come alive out if it... so he escaped by the backdoor.

It hadn't been possible at first, he wasn't allowed to pass that exit, but he had finally made it, progressing slowly each time no one was watching. He had reached for the closest hotel and had simply stayed there.

Carefully, Mello bathed Matt, then he cleaned all visible wounds and wrapped them the best he could. He could do nothing for the bruises on Matt's chest, they were painful but they would get better pretty fast. He was more worried with his fingers, but he couldn't bring him to the hospital considering what the redhead just had done. They would simply stay here, hiding away until the news would forget about the recent explosions and the discovery of a ruined Mafia hideout. No one should find out about Matt being the mysterious wiper, Mello would make sure of that.

He used all his knowledge from Wammy's to tie Matt's fingers in the right position so they could heal correctly, although he knew that Matt would probably have some difficulties with them once they got better, their position may not be exactly perfect.

The blond had kept an eye on the Mafia, knowing all too well that him gone, mess would ensue, and he wanted to make sure that Matt or him weren't in danger because Matt had called the doc days earlier. He wasn't long to discover that Jim had been killed, then Seth, until he had known that Matt was at the origin of those murders. That's when he had realised that Matt would stop at nothing to get him back. And instead of being scared, he had known

right at that moment that he was unable to live away from Matt.

He had learnt quite at the same time as Matt that Ross had located him in that bunker, except that it wasn't him. Someone had taken advantage of the mess to make believe that he was Mello, thinking that the ex boss was dead indeed. Mello was still hiring men to get rid of Ross and the fake him when Matt made his move.  
Mello was astonished when he saw the news, the report about the massacre in the bunker, the images of the ruins of Ross' burning hideout... he didn't doubt Matt being the one to do that, not a single second.

When he had thought that Matt would stop at nothing, he was still very far from the truth, seeing that his boyfriend had risked everything to blow the Mafia. He was unable to fight back when someone stole his PSP, and now that...

Mello got rid of the men he had hired straight away, since they were useless, and were also the last ones to know about him now, probably, and had come back to the apartment immediately, hoping that Matt would be back there soon.

Wrapping Matt in a bathrobe, Mello held him close, kissing his temple before exiting the bathroom with him.

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" Matt finally murmured, looking at Mello with his big blue eyes.  
Mello couldn't help but think that Matt looked like a child right at that moment. A child relieved that he wasn't scolded for the big mischief he had just done. It was so far from the pyromaniac burning threats away, and still, it was a familiar side of his boyfriend. It was probably the first side he had known from Matt.  
Mello shook his head. Of course he wasn't mad at Matt. He smiled, seeing how the redhead suddenly beamed.

"I am sorry for..." Matt began, "I don't know... I've done so much to you and I'm not even sure that I regret it, I know it seemed wrong to you but I know I'd do it again if I had to... I just... love you, Mello..."  
"I know." Mello smiled. Was that so weird that himself didn't think it had been all wrong, now?  
Matt smiled back. A smile that Mello had never seen. It was free of guilt, sorrow or craziness, and maybe, behind the damage done in their childhood, the person that Matt would have really been, had he been raised normally, was still there...

Matt dragged him to the bedroom suddenly. There, he turned around to face Mello and, grabbing his face, began to kiss him all over his mouth, his nose, his scar, hungrily.  
Mello stopped Matt, only for a few seconds, just to look into his eyes, before he kissed him back, satisfied by what he saw. But soon he was like a puppet in Matt's arms, being undressed, laid on the bed. He wasn't afraid, and he didn't wonder, this time, what meant that predatory look in Matt's eyes. He knew what it was, but it didn't matter so much. The orphan in Matt was scared to lose again what he loved and made him feel secure, the orphan in Mello was scared to be abandoned again. It was only a fucked up evenness, Matt would smother him with his insecurity, but he would also give him everything, _do_anything for him.

This time, in Matt's arms, under his almost violent kisses and sucking and holding, Mello didn't feel controlled, or helpless, or lost. He only felt loved.

Matt deepened their kisses, Mello melting in his touch instead of tensing this time. Matt stopped for a second, looking at Mello, surprised by the sudden change, and smiled of that beautiful smile again, before diving down to Mello's crotch. He licked the underside of the already fully erected member, Mello moaning wantonly.  
Palming the blond's balls, Matt massaged them while depositing small pecks on the inner side of his thighs, spreading them further.

Mello sighed of pleasure when he felt Matt's tongue begin to lick at his anus, and lifted his legs to give the redhead a better access. Matt's tongue went up to Mello's testicles, licking them with the flat of it, leaving a wet track up to the tip of his cock, before swallowing it whole, as he probed Mello's hole with a finger.

Mello's breath caught in his throat, and he pushed on the intruder, asking for more. Matt complied with a second finger, then a third, Mello eagerly and impatiently moving to meet Matt's knuckles.  
"Matt..." Mello panted, pulling Matt up for the redhead to understand that he couldn't wait anymore. Matt was as eager as him, but although he was topping him, the violence was gone, he wasn't taking him harshly, dominating him, they were, for the first time, on the same level.

Matt slid inside of Mello, who didn't refrain the sounds he made to the least, urging Matt to go faster, deeper. Matt slid an arm under Mello's neck, bringing him closer so he could kiss him, resting on his other elbow.  
When he broke the kiss, Matt simply stared at Mello, going faster, or slowing down, pulling Mello with him on a rollercoaster of sensations as he rammed into his sweet spot at different rhythms.

Sometimes the insanity was back, when Matt would be taking Mello so hard that the blond was afraid that the bedpost would leave marks against the wall of the bedroom, sometimes it was just that soft smile he had just discovered, when things slowed down to a sweet lovemaking, sometimes Matt was almost in tears, insecurity showing in his pupils, as he would hold Mello, almost stopping moving.  
Mello couldn't help but smile, as Matt grabbed his erection, pumping him to get him to come, himself finally exploding in Mello before collapsing on his shoulder, crying and laughing at the same time, kissing the skin on Mello's neck that he could reach. He smiled because maybe it wasn't sad or depressing, it was pretty funny to have a gangbang with all of Matt's personalities...

It was like the lion and the lamb, except that this time, Mello didn't feel like the lion fighting to save the lamb, of like the lamb being eaten by Matt's psychotic lion instincts. They were both inside of the same body and mind...  
Despite the fact that the love of his life may kill him someday, although the love of his life didn't seem to be able to tell right from wrong, the only important thing in Mello's mind was that it was, above everything, reason or sanity, right or wrong, truth or lie, _the love of his life_.

Mello stood up suddenly, coming back from the living room with a dark green box.  
"Matt, I found that on the coffee table." Mello said, smirking. Matt gave him an alarmed look.  
"No, no worries love." Mello pecked his lips, sitting on the border of the bed, "I know what it is, I looked inside... sorry... but... I'm ok with it."  
The redhead stared at Mello, then the box, then Mello again, incredulously, "Really?"  
"God Matt, we're a couple, we're living together, and I intend to spend the rest of my life with you, so it would be about time that you propose to me!" the blond laughed, handing out the box to his boyfriend who took it like if it was about to explode in his hands. He just couldn't believe that Mello said that.

Matt opened the box, took the content, slid off the bed to kneel in front of Mello, still seating on the border, and grabbed his hand solemnly.  
"Mello... wow... I can't believe it!" Matt's cheeks were reddening but he was grinning as much as his lips allowed him to, "Mello, will you... marry me?" The words that left his mouth seemed so foreign to him, and yet so normal. He had never imagined his life without Mello, he had dreamt to spend his whole life with him, and now, Mello was ok with a proposal, and with what was in the box even! So nothing of what he did was vain, after all? It didn't matter so much to him to fight to save his own ass, but Mello... he'd blow the earth if he had to, for him.  
"Hell yeah!" Mello chuckled, sliding his hand behind Matt's head to pull him in a kiss.

They broke the kiss, both smiling blissfully, as Matt finally placed the pneumatic gun against Mello's arm and injected the GPS microchip. Mello hissed, but the pain faded fast. He went to the bathroom to dab the small bleeding hole with a tissue.  
"That's a painful ring." Mello joked as Matt applied a band-aid on his arm.

Mello didn't want to think anymore in terms of what was fucked up or not. All he wanted to do was what seemed right and suitable for themselves, according to their own needs. Matt was only dangerous when he was worried about him...

A lionheart beating only for him, hidden in a lamb skin.


End file.
